This is Rapidfire: a silly ten question interview posed to various celebrities.
Think of me as the female, horror version of James Lipton.
Think of me as the female, horror version of James Lipton.
52. Arye Gross
There are two things specifically that I remember Arye Gross from: Friends, where he played a blind date for Rachel and we got the famous line, "You're over me? When were you under me?" (though I prefer the line Rachel said while at the table with Arye; "And THAT, my friend, is what they call, CLOSURE.") The other thing I remember him from is Ellen, which was a fantastically hilarious show where he played Ellen's roommate and friend, Adam. He has been in a billion shows and movies before and since then, including The Wonder Years, Millennium, Grey's Anatomy, CSI: NY, Burn Notice, and now plays the recurring role of Dr. Sidney Perlmutter, a medical examiner, on Castle. This man is not only a talented actor, but exceptionally kind, and I'm grateful for his participation in this interview. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Better she should use her voice now, while she's alive; in the grave it'll be plenty quiet. From Coney Island to the cemetery it's the same subway, the same
fare..." - The Loudest Voice by Grace Paley
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes are doves."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Fricassée of Ortolan
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuck
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
DON'T LOOK NOW / The Exorcist
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you?"
7. What is your favorite currently airing TV show?
Currently airing right now? Like, its on RIGHT NOW? Probly "The Daily Show"
8. Favorite song right now?
"Dharma and The Bomb"
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
^
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Nuance, people; nuance.
(for more, add Arye Gross on Facebook!)
"Better she should use her voice now, while she's alive; in the grave it'll be plenty quiet. From Coney Island to the cemetery it's the same subway, the same
fare..." - The Loudest Voice by Grace Paley
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes are doves."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Fricassée of Ortolan
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuck
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
DON'T LOOK NOW / The Exorcist
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you?"
7. What is your favorite currently airing TV show?
Currently airing right now? Like, its on RIGHT NOW? Probly "The Daily Show"
8. Favorite song right now?
"Dharma and The Bomb"
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
^
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Nuance, people; nuance.
(for more, add Arye Gross on Facebook!)
51. Jackie Kashian
Our guest is another hysterical comedian: Jackie Kashian. She has had her own half-hour special on Comedy Central, appeared on CBS, NBC, and, like our previous guest Henry Phillips, has been featured on the radio show Bob And Tom. She has traveled to Africa and the Middle East to entertain troops with her stand-up, and her most recent album, It's Never Going to be Bread, was named as one of the top comedy albums of 2010 by Amazon.com. She hosts her own podcast, The Dork Forest, which features "dork on dork dialogue" between about her and her guests' favorite obsessions (referred to as "dorkdoms"). Guests have included Paul F. Tompkins, James Urbaniak, Aisha Tyler, and former Rapidfire guest, Mary-Lynn Rajskub. It is an honor to have such a talented woman as a guest! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
My favorite quote of my own? Granted, I'm hilarious, but it feels a bit full o' hubris (new cereal). My husband said his is, "Here's the Thing" (which is my version
of a sequay, at least 26times per set;). Mine? I like his line about "we should get tattoos of those spoons. We'd each get a tattoo of a shelf on our backs and,
then, when we travel, we get tattoos of different spoons." Something like that.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Could you pick that up? (I was alone for a LONG time)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Kale Chips? I don't know how and I don't want to clean it up.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
FuckChop (invented, I believe, by Jimmy Pardo)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Not Applicable
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I'm super wordy...I recommend buying my last album (it was top 10 comedy albums of the year, the year it came out - 2010)
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I'm part of a pool of when the next civil war is...I have 2056. But I'm an optimist.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Periphery" by Fiona Apple
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
;)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I don't feel like I passed this test. My dog ate the right answers on the internet.
(for more, follow Jackie Kashian on Twitter!)
My favorite quote of my own? Granted, I'm hilarious, but it feels a bit full o' hubris (new cereal). My husband said his is, "Here's the Thing" (which is my version
of a sequay, at least 26times per set;). Mine? I like his line about "we should get tattoos of those spoons. We'd each get a tattoo of a shelf on our backs and,
then, when we travel, we get tattoos of different spoons." Something like that.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Could you pick that up? (I was alone for a LONG time)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Kale Chips? I don't know how and I don't want to clean it up.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
FuckChop (invented, I believe, by Jimmy Pardo)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Not Applicable
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I'm super wordy...I recommend buying my last album (it was top 10 comedy albums of the year, the year it came out - 2010)
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I'm part of a pool of when the next civil war is...I have 2056. But I'm an optimist.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Periphery" by Fiona Apple
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
;)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I don't feel like I passed this test. My dog ate the right answers on the internet.
(for more, follow Jackie Kashian on Twitter!)
50. Henry Phillips
Today's guest is known for his twisted comedic songs, and that guest is Henry Phillips. He has been featured on Comedy Central Presents, Jimmy Kimmel Live, as well as radio shows such as Bob and Tom, and The Dr. Demento Show, among many others. Billboard magazine named him "Critic’s Choice," and he has also written songs for two award winning musicals: "Blake: the Musical" and "Chips." His semi-biographical comedy film "Punching the Clown" received the Audience award at Slamdance film festival '09 (check it out on Netflix/iTunes!). He is a hilarious man, and I'm glad to have him as a guest for this silly interview! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Michelangelo once said that if people knew how hard he worked on his art then they wouldn't call him
a genius. I think with me it's the opposite-- If people knew how little I worked on my stuff, I don't think
they would say that I suck." - Punching the Clown
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hi, do you know if this bar takes hundreds?"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Buffalo chicken quinoa mac n' cheese.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckin' (I'm old fashioned)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Stephen King's "Salem's Lot"
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
In Hollywood, everyone seems to be sleeping their way to the top, while I feel like I'm just masturbating
my way to the bottom.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Tom Waits
8. Favorite song right now?
"Xanadu" - ELO version
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:-/
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I hope it's not too late to fix everything.
(for more, follow Henry Phillips on Twitter!)
"Michelangelo once said that if people knew how hard he worked on his art then they wouldn't call him
a genius. I think with me it's the opposite-- If people knew how little I worked on my stuff, I don't think
they would say that I suck." - Punching the Clown
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hi, do you know if this bar takes hundreds?"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Buffalo chicken quinoa mac n' cheese.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckin' (I'm old fashioned)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Stephen King's "Salem's Lot"
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
In Hollywood, everyone seems to be sleeping their way to the top, while I feel like I'm just masturbating
my way to the bottom.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Tom Waits
8. Favorite song right now?
"Xanadu" - ELO version
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:-/
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I hope it's not too late to fix everything.
(for more, follow Henry Phillips on Twitter!)
49. Mary Lynn Rajskub
Our extra special guest this week is a fantastic actress, a hilarious comedian and was one of my favorite characters on 24 (and probably my favorite female character of all time): Mary Lynn Rajskub! She has been on numerous shows and in many films - The Larry Sanders Show, Veronica's Closet, Just Shoot Me!, Sweet Home Alabama, Little Miss Sunshine, Raising Hope, Modern Family - and even starred in her own webseries on My Damn Channel called, "DICKI." But my favorite role of hers is that of Chloe O'Brien on 24. She is a truly talented actress and so very kind and charming, I am honored to have her as a guest for my silly interview. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Get a grip." - Chloe to Kim Bauer on 24
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Do you like piña coladas?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Kale
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Penishole
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Real Housewives
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Why is a hotdog always happy at the end of a race? Because he's a weeeeiiiinnner!
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Kim Kardashian for anything.
8. Favorite song right now?
Do you like piña coladas?
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I don't emoticon. Too many steps involved.
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
What is this for? I'm not really sure what this is.
(for more, follow Mary Lynn Rajskub on Twitter!)
"Get a grip." - Chloe to Kim Bauer on 24
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Do you like piña coladas?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Kale
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Penishole
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Real Housewives
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Why is a hotdog always happy at the end of a race? Because he's a weeeeiiiinnner!
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Kim Kardashian for anything.
8. Favorite song right now?
Do you like piña coladas?
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I don't emoticon. Too many steps involved.
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
What is this for? I'm not really sure what this is.
(for more, follow Mary Lynn Rajskub on Twitter!)
48. Sean Astin
I've been saving this lovely guest for a special occasion, and I thought: what's more special than the holidays AND the release of The Hobbit? Our guest this week is (the) Sean Astin. I had the immeasurable pleasure of meeting this incredible actor at New York ComicCon and he was kind enough to do this interview in between his ridiculously long autographing sessions (you know I had to use the pic I took with him for this post). I don't think I have to explain who Sean Astin is, but incase I do: he starred in such massively huge films as Rudy, the Lord of the Rings trilogy and also played a major role in season five of 24. He has done a billion other things and is one of the nicest celebrities I've had the honor of meeting. And now, after weeks of waiting and without further ado, please enjoy Sean Astin's RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." - LOTR
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Honey, wanna go to the bedroom?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Ho-Ho's
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Cunt
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Shining
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
(gah! I forgot to ask him this one - my bad!)
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
"Blinded by the Light" - Manfred Mann
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:]
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thanks for these moments.
(for more, follow Sean Astin on Twitter!)
"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." - LOTR
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Honey, wanna go to the bedroom?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Ho-Ho's
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Cunt
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Shining
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
(gah! I forgot to ask him this one - my bad!)
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
"Blinded by the Light" - Manfred Mann
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:]
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thanks for these moments.
(for more, follow Sean Astin on Twitter!)
47. Ralph Garman
Our guest this week is actor and comedian Ralph Garman!
This exceptionally talented man has done so much; he's been in Charmed, House, NYPD Blue, Bones, Red State, Two for the Money, Mad, and so much else, but you probably know him from TED, The Joe Schmo Show, Hollywood Babble-On with Kevin Smith, or Family Guy! He is massively skilled when it comes to impressions, which you can hear for yourself on the Babble-On podcast on the SModcast Network! I'm so honored to have him as a guest for this interview. Now, RAPIDFIRE!
This exceptionally talented man has done so much; he's been in Charmed, House, NYPD Blue, Bones, Red State, Two for the Money, Mad, and so much else, but you probably know him from TED, The Joe Schmo Show, Hollywood Babble-On with Kevin Smith, or Family Guy! He is massively skilled when it comes to impressions, which you can hear for yourself on the Babble-On podcast on the SModcast Network! I'm so honored to have him as a guest for this interview. Now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
A line in TED is one of the greatest thing I've ever said as an actor: "Jesus H. Fuck!"
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"I've got this mental image of me giving you an amazing footrub." Chicks love footrubs.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Mac & cheese
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckstick!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Exorcist
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Who are the sexiest animals on the farm? Brown chicken, brown cow.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Adam West
8. Favorite song right now?
"Take A Letter, Maria" (RIP R.B. Greaves)
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:-#
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I'm very fond of Jamba Juice.
(for more, follow Ralph Garman on Twitter!)
A line in TED is one of the greatest thing I've ever said as an actor: "Jesus H. Fuck!"
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"I've got this mental image of me giving you an amazing footrub." Chicks love footrubs.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Mac & cheese
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckstick!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Exorcist
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Who are the sexiest animals on the farm? Brown chicken, brown cow.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Adam West
8. Favorite song right now?
"Take A Letter, Maria" (RIP R.B. Greaves)
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:-#
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I'm very fond of Jamba Juice.
(for more, follow Ralph Garman on Twitter!)
46. Scott Baker
This week's guest is another hilarious and wonderful writer: Scott Baker! He is a horror/urban fantasy author who has published several vampire and zombie short stories and novels. His works include Rotter World - his first zombie novel - The Vampire Hunters trilogy and several short stories; “Dead Water,” “Rednecks Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things,” “Cruise of the Living Dead,” “Deck the Malls with Bowels of Holly,” and the soon-to-be-published steampunk zombie story "Last Flight of the Bismarck." This man is a wisecracker with an affinity for cigars, iced coffee and rabbits! You can check out his blog here. He was very kind to me at Infect Scranton, and I'm glad I got the chance to meet him. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
My favorite line I have written is from "Deck the Malls with Bowels of Holly" when Jack, the alcoholic
mall Santa, calls the zombie reindeer into battle. He stands there holding a lit cigar and a propane tank
and says, "It's time to play some reindeer games."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I don't have one. They're too cliche.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
M&Ms. I can think of a lot of places to eat them out of/off of.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuck. However, my last two books were written without using that word, which for me is an
accomplishment.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Favorite horror movie: The re-imaged Dawn of the Dead.
Favorite horror novel: World War Z.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
It's from Big Bang Theory, but I laughed for five minutes: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius
Strip? To get to the same side.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I may sit out this election. I am so tired of being offered shitty candidates by both parties, and for
voting for the lesser of the two evils. It's getting harder to choose who is the lesser evil.
8. Favorite song right now?
Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." It's my song to my soon-to-be-fiance.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I'm in a good place in my life right now.
(for more, add Scott Baker on Facebook!)
My favorite line I have written is from "Deck the Malls with Bowels of Holly" when Jack, the alcoholic
mall Santa, calls the zombie reindeer into battle. He stands there holding a lit cigar and a propane tank
and says, "It's time to play some reindeer games."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I don't have one. They're too cliche.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
M&Ms. I can think of a lot of places to eat them out of/off of.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuck. However, my last two books were written without using that word, which for me is an
accomplishment.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Favorite horror movie: The re-imaged Dawn of the Dead.
Favorite horror novel: World War Z.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
It's from Big Bang Theory, but I laughed for five minutes: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius
Strip? To get to the same side.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I may sit out this election. I am so tired of being offered shitty candidates by both parties, and for
voting for the lesser of the two evils. It's getting harder to choose who is the lesser evil.
8. Favorite song right now?
Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." It's my song to my soon-to-be-fiance.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I'm in a good place in my life right now.
(for more, add Scott Baker on Facebook!)
45. Laura Bretz
This week's guest is Laura Bretz, co-author of the incredible zombie series What Zombies Fear. This series is on-going online and is heading into its fifth installment! I met Laura alongside Kirk at the aforementioned Infect Scranton author's panel that featured the both of us. Laura is just as lovely as Kirk, and so personable. She is witty and smart and I'm so glad I got the chance to meet her. I know she's working hard with Kirk on What Zombies Fear, so I'm thrilled that she could take a moment to do this interview! P.S. Laura, I hope you don't mind me using this pic of you; it's rather fantastic and I love it! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
A character in What Zombies Fear is named Kris. One of my favorite things she ever said was in our
fourth book "Fracture." She said, "Fucking Tookes. God damn crusade..."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I don't think I've ever heard one that didn't end in me laughing at them or rolling my eyes! Personally,
I respond better to confidence and just coming over to me and telling me your name. When in doubt,
just introduce yourself.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
While I wouldn't call it unconventional, I would definitely say bacon. Because everything is better with
bacon.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
That's an easy one; "fuck." But I've also been known to use "balls" and "tit" as a curse as well.
Depends on the day.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
28 Days Later absolutely rocked my world and completely terrified me. I love that I can watch it again
and again and never get bored of it. I love that Kirk and I have incorporated the same element of
unpredictability in What Zombies Fear.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
You remind me of my pinky toe. You're small cute and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee
table later tonight.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
In brief, Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
I have so many. There's a good chance that if it's bass heavy with a catchy tune and/or a good rap
hook, I'm going to love it. First one that came to mind is "Scream" by Usher.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
kiki
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
It's become obvious that anything and everything is possible.
(for more, add Laura Bretz on Facebook!)
A character in What Zombies Fear is named Kris. One of my favorite things she ever said was in our
fourth book "Fracture." She said, "Fucking Tookes. God damn crusade..."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I don't think I've ever heard one that didn't end in me laughing at them or rolling my eyes! Personally,
I respond better to confidence and just coming over to me and telling me your name. When in doubt,
just introduce yourself.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
While I wouldn't call it unconventional, I would definitely say bacon. Because everything is better with
bacon.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
That's an easy one; "fuck." But I've also been known to use "balls" and "tit" as a curse as well.
Depends on the day.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
28 Days Later absolutely rocked my world and completely terrified me. I love that I can watch it again
and again and never get bored of it. I love that Kirk and I have incorporated the same element of
unpredictability in What Zombies Fear.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
You remind me of my pinky toe. You're small cute and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee
table later tonight.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
In brief, Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
I have so many. There's a good chance that if it's bass heavy with a catchy tune and/or a good rap
hook, I'm going to love it. First one that came to mind is "Scream" by Usher.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
kiki
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
It's become obvious that anything and everything is possible.
(for more, add Laura Bretz on Facebook!)
44. Kirk Allmond
Our guest this week is Kirk Allmond, author and zombie fiend! Like our 43rd guest, I met Kirk at Infect Scranton for an author's panel that featured the both of us, and it was ridiculously fun to be sat next to him. He is clever, hysterical and wise, and the kind of person you could listen to talk about anything and be interested. He writes an on-going online novel called What Zombies Fear, which is heading into its fifth installment! He's very busy with conventions and writing, so I'm glad he took a sec to be our guest! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
I love quotes and pop culture references in What Zombies Fear, so I’m a bit of a “quote thief”, working
in a movie quotes throughout. For instance, Victor Tookes often says “It’s time to nut up or shut up,”
which we all know is a Zombieland quote.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I’ve always had the best luck with a smile and “Hi, my name is Kirk.” Although I’ve always wanted to
try “Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?”
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Lets go with Chana Masala, 'cause who doesn't look better covered in saffron colored sauce?
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
They all have so many uses, although I’m particularly fond of Fuckwit.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Ugh! So many to choose from! I really love 28 Days Later because it expanded zombies outside of
the typical “Romero” style zombies, and scared the heck out of me.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
My brother was born with no eyelids. When they circumcised him, they used the foreskin to make
eyelids. He’s fine now, just a little cockeyed.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
It certainly won’t be Mittwit. Obama is doing a good job. Not fast enough for my liking, but at least
we’re getting there.
8. Favorite song right now?
Flo-Rida - “Whistle”
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(devil-y emoticon)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Don’t be a zombie. Use your brain, your best asset!
(for more, add Kirk Allmond on Facebook!)
I love quotes and pop culture references in What Zombies Fear, so I’m a bit of a “quote thief”, working
in a movie quotes throughout. For instance, Victor Tookes often says “It’s time to nut up or shut up,”
which we all know is a Zombieland quote.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I’ve always had the best luck with a smile and “Hi, my name is Kirk.” Although I’ve always wanted to
try “Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?”
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Lets go with Chana Masala, 'cause who doesn't look better covered in saffron colored sauce?
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
They all have so many uses, although I’m particularly fond of Fuckwit.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Ugh! So many to choose from! I really love 28 Days Later because it expanded zombies outside of
the typical “Romero” style zombies, and scared the heck out of me.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
My brother was born with no eyelids. When they circumcised him, they used the foreskin to make
eyelids. He’s fine now, just a little cockeyed.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
It certainly won’t be Mittwit. Obama is doing a good job. Not fast enough for my liking, but at least
we’re getting there.
8. Favorite song right now?
Flo-Rida - “Whistle”
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(devil-y emoticon)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Don’t be a zombie. Use your brain, your best asset!
(for more, add Kirk Allmond on Facebook!)
43. Jacqueline Druga
JACKIE! This woman is so lovely, I can't stand it. I had the pleasure of meeting her at an event we both attended recently - Pennsylvania's first ever zombie con, Infect Scranton. It was a blast and a half, and that's mostly because of Jackie. She's hilarious and brilliant and just one of the nicest women I've ever met. From her Amazon author page: "She is a prolific writer and filmmaker. Her published works include genres of all types, but favors post-apocalypse and apocalypse writing. Currently she is in production of her third full-length feature film in which she has written and is producing." She also maintains a popular blog and continues to write her face off! So grateful for her taking time out of her all-night writing sessions to do my silly interview! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Christ on his Throne, you let the limited girl play with the ouiji Board? I don't even want to think of
how you're gonna pay for this one" - Fr. Pat, 19 Doors, (a feature film I wrote - it's on Amazon)
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Pick up line? What's that? I don't believe anyone has used a pick up line on me in decades. Maybe they
did and I didn't notice. If someone were to use one on me (ha) he'd have to be 6'3, have long blonde hair,
carry a hammer and say, "I am Thor."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Unconventional bedroom food? You mean like Fritos? That's unconventional because if you eat Fritos
in the bedroom you can't determine the next day if it is the corn chips or old socks.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Easy enough "fuck'. It's my favorite adjective.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Stand by Stephen King.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
My granddaughter (2) shoplifted lip gloss from Rita aid. They apprehended her and she growled and
snapped at the manger like a Zombie when he tried to take it. HE then ... let her keep it.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Romney
8. Favorite song right now?
Fuel - "Falls on Me"
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:]
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Life is pretty cool. I'm loving it.
(for more, add Jackie Druga on Facebook!)
"Christ on his Throne, you let the limited girl play with the ouiji Board? I don't even want to think of
how you're gonna pay for this one" - Fr. Pat, 19 Doors, (a feature film I wrote - it's on Amazon)
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Pick up line? What's that? I don't believe anyone has used a pick up line on me in decades. Maybe they
did and I didn't notice. If someone were to use one on me (ha) he'd have to be 6'3, have long blonde hair,
carry a hammer and say, "I am Thor."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Unconventional bedroom food? You mean like Fritos? That's unconventional because if you eat Fritos
in the bedroom you can't determine the next day if it is the corn chips or old socks.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Easy enough "fuck'. It's my favorite adjective.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Stand by Stephen King.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
My granddaughter (2) shoplifted lip gloss from Rita aid. They apprehended her and she growled and
snapped at the manger like a Zombie when he tried to take it. HE then ... let her keep it.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Romney
8. Favorite song right now?
Fuel - "Falls on Me"
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:]
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Life is pretty cool. I'm loving it.
(for more, add Jackie Druga on Facebook!)
42. Todd Glass
Our guest this week is comedian Todd Glass! He has been working at his passion for a long time - since he was 16 years old, when he first did stand-up in Philadelphia. His first televised appearance was on An Evening at the Improv, but he has since performed on several Comedy Central stand-up programs, Last Comic Standing, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, The Dennis Miller Show, Louie, Politically Incorrect, Tosh.0 and others, and, in 2001, had his own Comedy Central Presents special. He has worked on numerous podcasts and now has his own, The Todd Glass Show on the Nerdist podcasting network. He's a hilarious guy, and I'm glad to have him here! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"If you can't remember the last time you were wrong or said you were sorry, you're probably full of
shit."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I have no favorite pick-up lines, I'd rather not meet anybody than bother people. Plus if you trust if
you're getting any energy from the other person, you can act accordingly. And if you are getting a
good energy from that person, a simple "hi" will do.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
You'd think I'd have an answer for that, but I don't. I'll get back to you on that one.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckin' Shit and fuck
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I'm not a big fan of horror movies, so I'll go with a comedic horror movie: Beetlejuice. By the way
when I say I'm not a big fan of horror movies, I'll still watch one if it's on TV. I guess I do like having
the shit scared out of me.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I'll quote a Mitch Hedberg joke... "I saw a sign yesterday that said escalator broke. Shouldn't it have
said 'escalator temporarily stairs'?"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
I like Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zero's "Home". The way it is with me and music is that I'll
listen to one song for 4 months straight, and then move on to another one. But I do love their music.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
If you're hateful towards any group of people, then you're spitting on the people that died fighting for
your rights. Oops! That's 20 words. And after that it's 24. Oh well...
(for more, follow Todd Glass on Twitter!)
"If you can't remember the last time you were wrong or said you were sorry, you're probably full of
shit."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I have no favorite pick-up lines, I'd rather not meet anybody than bother people. Plus if you trust if
you're getting any energy from the other person, you can act accordingly. And if you are getting a
good energy from that person, a simple "hi" will do.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
You'd think I'd have an answer for that, but I don't. I'll get back to you on that one.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckin' Shit and fuck
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I'm not a big fan of horror movies, so I'll go with a comedic horror movie: Beetlejuice. By the way
when I say I'm not a big fan of horror movies, I'll still watch one if it's on TV. I guess I do like having
the shit scared out of me.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I'll quote a Mitch Hedberg joke... "I saw a sign yesterday that said escalator broke. Shouldn't it have
said 'escalator temporarily stairs'?"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
I like Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zero's "Home". The way it is with me and music is that I'll
listen to one song for 4 months straight, and then move on to another one. But I do love their music.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
If you're hateful towards any group of people, then you're spitting on the people that died fighting for
your rights. Oops! That's 20 words. And after that it's 24. Oh well...
(for more, follow Todd Glass on Twitter!)
41. Jordan Wall
This week's guest is Jordan Wall! You may recognize him as Daniel Green from the hit A&E series The Glades, which was just renewed for its fourth season! He has only been acting for a few years since he graduated with a telecommunications degree in 2007, but he has already done quite well, gaining the aforementiond regular spot on The Glades and making an appearance on Harry's Law. He can also be seen in Walk on Water, Surviving Disaster and in the 2012 horror film The Summoning. He's currently working in the Crown City Theatre's production of Dangerous Corner alongside friend of the site, Seth Peterson! Jordan is very nice, and I'm glad to have him amongst our guests. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"The sweet is never as sweet without the sour."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Drinking pickle juice, yea or nay? (it actually works)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Tofurkey
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Sonsabitches!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Movie - The Ring. Book - The Ruins.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
A monk, a priest, & a rabbi walk into a bar. The rabbi ducks.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
The guy who is willing to surround himself with different opinons.
8. Favorite song right now?
Glasses M83 - Reunion
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
8P
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Mmmmm salmon tacos.
(for more, follow Jordan Wall on Twitter!)
"The sweet is never as sweet without the sour."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Drinking pickle juice, yea or nay? (it actually works)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Tofurkey
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Sonsabitches!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Movie - The Ring. Book - The Ruins.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
A monk, a priest, & a rabbi walk into a bar. The rabbi ducks.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
The guy who is willing to surround himself with different opinons.
8. Favorite song right now?
Glasses M83 - Reunion
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
8P
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Mmmmm salmon tacos.
(for more, follow Jordan Wall on Twitter!)
40. Matthew Modine
Our fantastic 40th guest is Matthew Modine! There is so much to say about this amazing man; he has done EVERYTHING. Don't believe me? Check out all the credits on his IMDB page! He has also been in so many things - And the Band Played On, Cutthroat Island, Any Given Sunday, Transporter 2, The Bedford Diaries, Weeds, The Dark Knight Rises - but perhaps his best-known role is that of Private J.T. "Joker" Davis from Full Metal Jacket. He has even written a book about the film for which he has created an iPad app! He is so talented, so nice, and I'm exceedingly grateful to him for taking the time to do my silly interview. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"What?" from the end of the feature film, Birdy. It was the perfect response to Al (Nic Cage) and the
perfect end for a remarkable film.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"I was lonely tonight until I met you."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
I don't eat food in bed.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
"Fucker." It is like a rubber ball. It has no deep impact. "Fuck" and "fuck you" have more impact.
"Fucker" is just funny to me.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I don't read scary books. The Shining gets better every time I watch it.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Barack Obama. Not because he is the solution. But because the alternative is a step back into the stone
age. Everything that is good and worth defending has come from liberal thinking and progressive
accomplishment. If humanity doesn't continue to evolve and strive for peaceful solutions to conflict
and environmental equilibrium - all life on our planet will soon cease.
8. Favorite song right now?
My daughter Ruby Wylder Modine's version of "As Tears Go By" by The Rolling Stones. You can
listen to it here.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
: - #
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
War is over. If you want it. - John and Yoko
(for more, follow Matthew Modine on Twitter!)
"What?" from the end of the feature film, Birdy. It was the perfect response to Al (Nic Cage) and the
perfect end for a remarkable film.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"I was lonely tonight until I met you."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
I don't eat food in bed.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
"Fucker." It is like a rubber ball. It has no deep impact. "Fuck" and "fuck you" have more impact.
"Fucker" is just funny to me.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I don't read scary books. The Shining gets better every time I watch it.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Barack Obama. Not because he is the solution. But because the alternative is a step back into the stone
age. Everything that is good and worth defending has come from liberal thinking and progressive
accomplishment. If humanity doesn't continue to evolve and strive for peaceful solutions to conflict
and environmental equilibrium - all life on our planet will soon cease.
8. Favorite song right now?
My daughter Ruby Wylder Modine's version of "As Tears Go By" by The Rolling Stones. You can
listen to it here.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
: - #
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
War is over. If you want it. - John and Yoko
(for more, follow Matthew Modine on Twitter!)
39. Rob Maaddi
I have a guilty pleasure; I love the show Bridezillas on WE TV. It's one of my favorite shows and I never miss it. I was surprised and rather excited when one of the husbands from a newer episode of this season followed me on Twitter, and I knew I had to interview him. Thankfully, he is an exceedingly nice man and was more than happy to do Rapidfire! Our guest this week, Rob Maaddi, who married Remy on the last August episode of Bridezillas, is a Philadelphia sports writer and has been called somewhat of a "diva." But, having seen his and Remy's episodes of Bridezillas, I think it's fair to say he's the chill one in the relationship. He's funny and clever and kind, and I'm glad he took a minute to do this silly interview! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
My wife Remy saying with a straight face on Bridezillas: "You can't be humble when you're perfect.
You just can't."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Used by me: "I love your eye shadow. It really accentuates your gorgeous eyes."
Used on me: This was from a smoking hot girl in Florida. Just came up to me and said: "We owe it to
society to procreate."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Um, not one to mix food in bedroom but if I had to answer, a protein shake. Gotta eat healthy :)
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I use "freakin" a lot so I avoid saying the other F word.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Portrait of a Lady
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Texting and driving is obviously very dangerous but so is texting and man grooming. Almost lost a
nipple shaving my chest and texting.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Undecided
8. Favorite song right now?
"Nigg@s in Paris" by Jay z and Kanye
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(laughing emoticon, food emoticon, drink emoticon)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Random questions make me laugh and think too hard.
(for more, follow Rob Maaddi on Twitter!)
My wife Remy saying with a straight face on Bridezillas: "You can't be humble when you're perfect.
You just can't."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Used by me: "I love your eye shadow. It really accentuates your gorgeous eyes."
Used on me: This was from a smoking hot girl in Florida. Just came up to me and said: "We owe it to
society to procreate."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Um, not one to mix food in bedroom but if I had to answer, a protein shake. Gotta eat healthy :)
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I use "freakin" a lot so I avoid saying the other F word.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Portrait of a Lady
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Texting and driving is obviously very dangerous but so is texting and man grooming. Almost lost a
nipple shaving my chest and texting.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Undecided
8. Favorite song right now?
"Nigg@s in Paris" by Jay z and Kanye
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(laughing emoticon, food emoticon, drink emoticon)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Random questions make me laugh and think too hard.
(for more, follow Rob Maaddi on Twitter!)
38. Reverend Tim Shaw
Our guest this week is Reverend Tim Shaw! He has had a life-long interest in the investigation of the paranormal. He comes from a long line of psychics and mediums (and I have had the honor of being on the receiving end of one of his predictions). Tim is also an ordained spiritualist minister, certified medium, Reiki healer (at the Master level), trained spiritualist healer, dowser and metaphysical instructor!
He has published many articles and is even writing books regarding the paranormal! Reverend Tim can be heard each Thursday at 8PM (est) on the Internet Radio Show The Black Cat Lounge on the Para-X Radio Network www.PARA-X.com. He is a very kind man and I'm so glad to have him here! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
He has published many articles and is even writing books regarding the paranormal! Reverend Tim can be heard each Thursday at 8PM (est) on the Internet Radio Show The Black Cat Lounge on the Para-X Radio Network www.PARA-X.com. He is a very kind man and I'm so glad to have him here! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
From “Ghost Op’s,” a pilot that I did for SPIKE TV - “I’m not so much worried about this device
frying my brains…it’s my testicles that I worry about!”
2. Favorite pick-up line?
You are wearing great shoes.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Nadda
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Motherfuckercocksuckerbitch!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Possessed, a film by the Booth Broters
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Just don’t have anything that funny in mind right now…
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Nadda…
8. Favorite song right now?
Anything by Adele
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
Nadda
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Time to go back to editing my book…lol
(for more, add Tim Shaw on Facebook!)
From “Ghost Op’s,” a pilot that I did for SPIKE TV - “I’m not so much worried about this device
frying my brains…it’s my testicles that I worry about!”
2. Favorite pick-up line?
You are wearing great shoes.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Nadda
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Motherfuckercocksuckerbitch!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Possessed, a film by the Booth Broters
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Just don’t have anything that funny in mind right now…
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Nadda…
8. Favorite song right now?
Anything by Adele
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
Nadda
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Time to go back to editing my book…lol
(for more, add Tim Shaw on Facebook!)
37. Corin Nemec
Our guest this week is the talented (and rather good-looking, if I may say so, myself) Corin Nemec! I'm sure many of you recognize him as Jonas Quinn from Stargate SG-1 or Christian from Supernatural, but he has been in so much more - Webster, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, the TV mini-series The Stand (based on the Stephen King novel), Brother's Keeper, Smallville, CSI: NY, Ghost Whisperer, Star-Ving...the list goes on and on. Not only is he a fantastic actor, but he is also a writer, producer, photographer and graffiti artist! Plus, he's a ridiculously nice guy - just check his Twitter! I'm so glad to have him here amongst our lovely guests, and now...RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
“Don’t mess with my disco, Nadine!” Harold Lauder in STEPHEN KING'S THE STAND
2. Favorite pick-up line?
“I’m new around here, could you point me in the right direction?”
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Porridge
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Bloody cunt (me ma's a Scouse)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Rosemary's Baby (the movie)
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Man leaps off Make a Wish Mountain (trips): “OHHH SHIT!”
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
PAUL MOONEY 4 PRESIDENT!
8. Favorite song right now?
KEV HICKS – "EYE JOCKEY"
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
C):-p> 8 (-:%
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I believe in you.
(for more, follow Corin Nemec on Twitter!)
“Don’t mess with my disco, Nadine!” Harold Lauder in STEPHEN KING'S THE STAND
2. Favorite pick-up line?
“I’m new around here, could you point me in the right direction?”
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Porridge
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Bloody cunt (me ma's a Scouse)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Rosemary's Baby (the movie)
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Man leaps off Make a Wish Mountain (trips): “OHHH SHIT!”
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
PAUL MOONEY 4 PRESIDENT!
8. Favorite song right now?
KEV HICKS – "EYE JOCKEY"
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
C):-p> 8 (-:%
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I believe in you.
(for more, follow Corin Nemec on Twitter!)
36. Todd Stashwick
WOW! Todd Stashwick! Can you fathom the awesome that radiates from this man? He started work with Second City, then transitioned into TV shows and films such as You, Me and Dupree, To Be Friends, The Riches and Heroes. He has also made appearances or had recurring roles on Burn Notice, Supernatural, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Boston Legal, Star Trek: Enterprise, every Law & Order, Will & Grace. The list goes on and on! He continues to do improv and live comedy performances, and even teaches his improvisational style. He has collaborated with writer/artist Dennis Calero to create a web comic strip called, "DEVIL INSIDE," which is available to read on his site. "Stash" is staying busy with a new project for SyFy, and knowing how much he has going on, I can't thank him enough for doing this interview! So: RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
I enjoyed writing this line in my comic Devil Inside, a few weeks back:
"When hope has her back against the wall...and the villains have sealed off the exits...sometimes...the
best thing she can do...is be like a rock...and drop."
I also like the Ani Di Franco quote:
"A tool can be a weapon, if you hold it right."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Will you lead a search team? Because I just got lost in your eyes."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Sizzling Fajita platter.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Well Frak leaps to mind. And I'm partial to the "C" word, the way the brits use it.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
My favorite horror movie of the last 10 years is Bryan Bertino's The Strangers. The book that scared
the crap out of me was Whitley Striber's Communion.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Baby Polar bear: "Momma? Am I a Polar Bear?"
Momma Polar Bear: "Of course! Why do you ask?"
Baby Polar Bear: "Because I'm F@#Kin' Freezing!"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
"I'm Shakin'" by Jack White
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
<-->
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
The most important thing in life is to always
(for more, follow Todd Stashwick on Twitter!)
I enjoyed writing this line in my comic Devil Inside, a few weeks back:
"When hope has her back against the wall...and the villains have sealed off the exits...sometimes...the
best thing she can do...is be like a rock...and drop."
I also like the Ani Di Franco quote:
"A tool can be a weapon, if you hold it right."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Will you lead a search team? Because I just got lost in your eyes."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Sizzling Fajita platter.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Well Frak leaps to mind. And I'm partial to the "C" word, the way the brits use it.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
My favorite horror movie of the last 10 years is Bryan Bertino's The Strangers. The book that scared
the crap out of me was Whitley Striber's Communion.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Baby Polar bear: "Momma? Am I a Polar Bear?"
Momma Polar Bear: "Of course! Why do you ask?"
Baby Polar Bear: "Because I'm F@#Kin' Freezing!"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
"I'm Shakin'" by Jack White
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
<-->
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
The most important thing in life is to always
(for more, follow Todd Stashwick on Twitter!)
35. Tim Sutton
Our guest this week is someone many interneters will recognize; Tim Sutton! Why should you know who this amazing young man is? Because he plays a lead role in one of the most thrilling, revolutionary projects ever unleashed on YouTube: Marble Hornets. For those who don't know, Marble Hornets is somewhat of a "found footage" series, but it's so much better than anything else I have ever seen. Point of reference: my brother does not get scared anymore. After watching Marble Hornets, he was paranoid and freaked out for a week. This series is just masterful and brilliant, and Tim plays a great part in it. Not to mention, the dude is one of the nicest, funniest, coolest people I've ever had the honor of talking to! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"I've got a secreeeeeeeeeeet!"
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Is that an iPhone in your pocket, or do you just wanna screw me?" (I am not very good at this.)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Miracle Berry tablets. Imagine the potential.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Willikers
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is perfect. As is Evil Dead 2.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
A man has the words "I love you" tattooed on his dick. He goes home to his wife and she says "Stop
trying to put words in my mouth!"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Barry Goldwater
8. Favorite song right now?
"Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA" - Devo. This never changes.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
¯\(°_o)/¯
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I just burned my mouth on this pizza.
(for more, follow Tim Sutton on Twitter!)
"I've got a secreeeeeeeeeeet!"
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Is that an iPhone in your pocket, or do you just wanna screw me?" (I am not very good at this.)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Miracle Berry tablets. Imagine the potential.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Willikers
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is perfect. As is Evil Dead 2.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
A man has the words "I love you" tattooed on his dick. He goes home to his wife and she says "Stop
trying to put words in my mouth!"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Barry Goldwater
8. Favorite song right now?
"Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA" - Devo. This never changes.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
¯\(°_o)/¯
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I just burned my mouth on this pizza.
(for more, follow Tim Sutton on Twitter!)
34. Mitch Rouse
Our guest this week is a hysterical and amazing actor, comedian and writer named Mitch Rouse. This man is incredible; he started at Second City, then joined forces with fellow alum Stephen Colbert, Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello and Jodi Lennon to create the short-lived but award-nominated sketch series Exit 57. From there, the group wrote and starred in the after-school special-spoofing Strangers With Candy, which lasted for three glorious seasons. He has appeared on many popular shows such as Home Improvement, According to Jim, Reno 911! and more, and has written and directed such films as Employee of the Month and Without a Paddle. He will soon be a guest on the new ABC show, The Neighbors, which airs at 9:30 on Thursdays. He is a very kind, funny man, and I'm so excited to have him here. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/what have you?
David: Whisper, do you have a boyfriend?
Whisper: Yeah.
David: What would you do if he was having sex with another girl?
Whisper: Play with her tits.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Let me know if you’d be up for me putting my mouth on your body.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Philly Cheese Steak and a bag of Funyuns.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Tittyfuck
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
John Carpenter’s “Halloween” the original - a few things in there still scare the shit out of me; the
raining nighttime scene outside the hospital where the nurse is sitting in the station wagon and
Michael Myers shoots up and across the back window of the station wagon. I know it’s coming but it
gets me every time.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to say Rob Zombie shit the bed on the re-make.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story /what have you:
This is more than 25 words....
Chuck Norris sits around a campfire with 2 rough cowboys. The cowboys start competing to see which
one is more hardcore. First one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I jumped on its back and
killed it by gouging its eyes out."
Second guy says, "I was swimming in a river, a huge anaconda wrapped around me and tried to strangle
me. So I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck Norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his cock.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Still waiting for someone else to show up.
8. Favorite song right now?
Foo Fighters “Walk”
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I can’t focus long enough to find one for A-D-D
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Bill Hicks was right. “It’s just a ride.”
(for more, add Mitch Rouse on Facebook!)
David: Whisper, do you have a boyfriend?
Whisper: Yeah.
David: What would you do if he was having sex with another girl?
Whisper: Play with her tits.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Let me know if you’d be up for me putting my mouth on your body.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Philly Cheese Steak and a bag of Funyuns.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Tittyfuck
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
John Carpenter’s “Halloween” the original - a few things in there still scare the shit out of me; the
raining nighttime scene outside the hospital where the nurse is sitting in the station wagon and
Michael Myers shoots up and across the back window of the station wagon. I know it’s coming but it
gets me every time.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to say Rob Zombie shit the bed on the re-make.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story /what have you:
This is more than 25 words....
Chuck Norris sits around a campfire with 2 rough cowboys. The cowboys start competing to see which
one is more hardcore. First one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I jumped on its back and
killed it by gouging its eyes out."
Second guy says, "I was swimming in a river, a huge anaconda wrapped around me and tried to strangle
me. So I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck Norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his cock.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Still waiting for someone else to show up.
8. Favorite song right now?
Foo Fighters “Walk”
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I can’t focus long enough to find one for A-D-D
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Bill Hicks was right. “It’s just a ride.”
(for more, add Mitch Rouse on Facebook!)
33. Kevin Brauch
This week's guest is a dashing man who's constantly on the lookout for the next great drink. Kevin Brauch, floor reporter and co-host of Iron Chef America, is what they call a celebrity bartender. He currently hosts three TV shows - The Thirsty Traveler on the Fine Living Network, MegaWorld on Discovery Channel Canada, and Superstar Chef Challenge on Food Network Canada - and is about to host a fourth, the upcoming Food Network Canada program CheF*Off. He has won awards for his work throughout the years and is truly a very cool dude. I know how busy he is, so I'm really grateful he could take the time to answer my silly questions! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
“I’m Kevin Brauch, Never go hungry; always stay thirsty! Cheers!” From The Thirsty Traveler TV
series – indirectly made me a lot of money. It was even better in the village of Scanno, Italy, when I
slurred my last name as I said this at the end of the show.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
What?! You want to go home with ME??? O-kay……..
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
A sandwich? Red Licorice? Champagne and truffles (the chocolate kind). Actually, whatever I’ve fallen
asleep eating with the tv on.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckin’ Cunt! Not to you. To the guy who just stole my parking space, actually to the fuckin’ cunt
who just stole my bike!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Jaws, Carrie, The Village from M. Night, really creeped me out. And the Barbie and the giant Swans
movie they showed me at the hospital when they were putting me under to remove my tonsils – that was
fuckin’ scary.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Punchline: So the next time you’re being chased by a King Cobra…just turn around and kick him in the
nuts!
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I can’t vote in the USA, but I’d vote for Stephen Colbert if I could. In Canada, definitely not Stephen
Harper. Or Rob Ford.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Niggas in Paris" Jay Z and Kanye from Watch The Throne
"So What’cha Want" from Beastie Boys
"Needles and Pins" from The Ramones
"Black Metallic" from Catherine Wheel
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(-_-?) means Fuck You! Only cause it’s a stupid question…. No wait….
>,< taking a poo! Or ¢:-{ 88 also take a poo!
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thanks, Alton! Good evening everyone…Konbanwa! Here are the judges!
(for more, follow Kevin Brauch on Twitter!)
“I’m Kevin Brauch, Never go hungry; always stay thirsty! Cheers!” From The Thirsty Traveler TV
series – indirectly made me a lot of money. It was even better in the village of Scanno, Italy, when I
slurred my last name as I said this at the end of the show.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
What?! You want to go home with ME??? O-kay……..
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
A sandwich? Red Licorice? Champagne and truffles (the chocolate kind). Actually, whatever I’ve fallen
asleep eating with the tv on.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckin’ Cunt! Not to you. To the guy who just stole my parking space, actually to the fuckin’ cunt
who just stole my bike!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Jaws, Carrie, The Village from M. Night, really creeped me out. And the Barbie and the giant Swans
movie they showed me at the hospital when they were putting me under to remove my tonsils – that was
fuckin’ scary.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Punchline: So the next time you’re being chased by a King Cobra…just turn around and kick him in the
nuts!
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I can’t vote in the USA, but I’d vote for Stephen Colbert if I could. In Canada, definitely not Stephen
Harper. Or Rob Ford.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Niggas in Paris" Jay Z and Kanye from Watch The Throne
"So What’cha Want" from Beastie Boys
"Needles and Pins" from The Ramones
"Black Metallic" from Catherine Wheel
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(-_-?) means Fuck You! Only cause it’s a stupid question…. No wait….
>,< taking a poo! Or ¢:-{ 88 also take a poo!
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thanks, Alton! Good evening everyone…Konbanwa! Here are the judges!
(for more, follow Kevin Brauch on Twitter!)
32. Fred Stoller
Our guest this week is the man of many roles. I'm certain you'll recognize him from one thing or another. He is Fred Stoller, and he has been in almost everything; Everybody Loves Raymond, Seinfeld, Friends, The Nanny, Scrubs, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, The Penguins of Madagascar, Wizards of Waverly Place, Austin Powers: Goldmember, WordGirl, and so many others, I couldn't possibly list them all. He is a hilarious comedian and talented actor, and he has released a Kindle Single called, My Seinfeld Year, where he details his rollercoaster experience of working on Seinfeld and gives a fresh behind the scenes look into one of America's favorite sitcoms. The man is awesome, and I'm glad he could do this interview! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
In my Seinfeld episode, "The Soup," Kenny Bania says, "Jerry, I've been doing some thinking." I say
that a lot.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I say I'm so cool cause I'm not like other guys. I don't have a pick-up line!
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Food in the bedroom has never been an issue.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
They change every time I yell at myself when I lose my keys.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Not a book or film, but the old Twilight Zone series has always freaked me out.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Two Jews are gonna be executed. One says to the other maybe we should ask for a blindfold. The other
says, "Murray, don't make trouble!"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Whoever is sure to win so then I won't feel guilty for not voting.
8. Favorite song right now?
The theme song for "Justified."
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
?/
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Starting now I hope to not do anything anymore I don't want to do, but I know I'll get talked into stuff
and will hate myself.
(for more, follow Fred Stoller on Twitter!)
In my Seinfeld episode, "The Soup," Kenny Bania says, "Jerry, I've been doing some thinking." I say
that a lot.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I say I'm so cool cause I'm not like other guys. I don't have a pick-up line!
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Food in the bedroom has never been an issue.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
They change every time I yell at myself when I lose my keys.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Not a book or film, but the old Twilight Zone series has always freaked me out.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Two Jews are gonna be executed. One says to the other maybe we should ask for a blindfold. The other
says, "Murray, don't make trouble!"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Whoever is sure to win so then I won't feel guilty for not voting.
8. Favorite song right now?
The theme song for "Justified."
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
?/
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Starting now I hope to not do anything anymore I don't want to do, but I know I'll get talked into stuff
and will hate myself.
(for more, follow Fred Stoller on Twitter!)
31. Heather Anne Campbell
I'm very excited about our guest this week. Heather Anne Campbell is one of the few female comedians who I think is absolutely hysterical. I first saw her on Drew Carey's Improv-a-Ganza, where I fell in love with her style. She has written for Saturday Night Live and was senior editor of Play Magazine and Geek Monthly. She now performs at UCB Los Angeles with The Midnight Show and in the improv show Last Day of School. She is an avid video-gamer, and contributes to EGM. You can keep up with her on her site. Thanks so much to her for doing this interview! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
I really like when Alan Herrrmerrrn says, "Why am I being so generous? I won the lottery. So I can do whatever I want. That's why I bought out Arby's. But you know that from my other commercials," in School of French Kissing for Dogs, probably my most ridiculous thing I've ever written.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"You look insecure."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Ugh, I think the farther food is kept from the bedroom, the less likely people will have to deal with sex
ants.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fartfucker
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Maybe "High Tension," or "The Children." Both are pretty great.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Knock knock. Who's there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Your landlord who is very upset about
the bear you have chained up on the lawn.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
For what office? I guess Gary looks like a good pick for Comptroller.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Live Forever" by Oasis
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
#O
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Ten Nine Eight Seven Six Five Four Three Two Awesome.
(for more, follow Heather Anne Campbell on Twitter!)
I really like when Alan Herrrmerrrn says, "Why am I being so generous? I won the lottery. So I can do whatever I want. That's why I bought out Arby's. But you know that from my other commercials," in School of French Kissing for Dogs, probably my most ridiculous thing I've ever written.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"You look insecure."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Ugh, I think the farther food is kept from the bedroom, the less likely people will have to deal with sex
ants.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fartfucker
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Maybe "High Tension," or "The Children." Both are pretty great.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Knock knock. Who's there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Your landlord who is very upset about
the bear you have chained up on the lawn.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
For what office? I guess Gary looks like a good pick for Comptroller.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Live Forever" by Oasis
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
#O
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Ten Nine Eight Seven Six Five Four Three Two Awesome.
(for more, follow Heather Anne Campbell on Twitter!)
30. Jonathan Mangum
WOOHOO! We've reached the big three-oh! Thirty guests on Rapidfire, and this week's is a hilarious man who you may recognize from the brilliant (but unfortunately, short-lived) GSN show Improv-A-Ganza - Jonathan Mangum! He is an incredibly talented actor who's made appearances on Stripmall, The Wayne Brady Show, The Drew Carey Show, NCIS, Pushing Daisies, among others, and has also been in films such as Raising Helen, The House at the End of the Drive and The Bucket List! He continues to do improv in Vegas and can be seen in the pilot episode of Trust Us with Your Life, a new improv show on ABC airing July 10th! Mr. Mangum is quite the cool dude, and I'm grateful he could take a moment to do this interview. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Instead of saying 'Who broke wind?' you'll say 'Who fixed the air?' - Home Purchasing Club, VH-1
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Is your daddy a thief? Cause some one stole my f@&king VCR!
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
An 85 pound salt-lick
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Damnityville horror!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Book: Ghost Story (Straub)
Movie: Exorcist
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Ma Balls!
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Chad Lowe
8. Favorite song right now?
"Round Midnight" - Monk
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
----)*(--- don't know what that is
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I guess if I had to sum it up it... (10)
(for more, follow Jonathan Mangum on Twitter!)
"Instead of saying 'Who broke wind?' you'll say 'Who fixed the air?' - Home Purchasing Club, VH-1
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Is your daddy a thief? Cause some one stole my f@&king VCR!
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
An 85 pound salt-lick
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Damnityville horror!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Book: Ghost Story (Straub)
Movie: Exorcist
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Ma Balls!
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Chad Lowe
8. Favorite song right now?
"Round Midnight" - Monk
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
----)*(--- don't know what that is
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I guess if I had to sum it up it... (10)
(for more, follow Jonathan Mangum on Twitter!)
29. C. Thomas Howell
This week's guest is very special and probably instantly recognizable to a lot of you; C. Thomas Howell. His career began when he was very young, one of his earliest roles being Tyler in the Spielberg classic, E.T., but this man is so passionate and has done so much, it is impossible to pick just one film or show in which he has shined; Red Dawn, The Outsiders, The Hitcher, Amazon, A Killer Within, 24, Criminal Minds, The Glades, Torchwood, Longmire, Southland. Recently, he played a role in the new Amazing Spider-Man film, in theaters July 3rd! He is a talented, funny, kind man, and a great actor. Many thanks to him for doing this interview! Now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Nothing Like a fat girl, man... It's kinda like riding a moped. It's fun as hell 'til someone catches you
doing it." (Southland)
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Would you like to see why they call me Ponyboy?"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Spicy Tuna roll. Wait...
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Ass Clown (as in don't be one)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Young Frankenstein (what a douche if I said The Hitcher)
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles? "Trust me"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Politics are for suckers
8. Favorite song right now?
"Sail" by Awolnation
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:-P
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Did I really just do this? "sigh"
(for more, follow C. Thomas Howell on Twitter!)
"Nothing Like a fat girl, man... It's kinda like riding a moped. It's fun as hell 'til someone catches you
doing it." (Southland)
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Would you like to see why they call me Ponyboy?"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Spicy Tuna roll. Wait...
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Ass Clown (as in don't be one)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Young Frankenstein (what a douche if I said The Hitcher)
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles? "Trust me"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Politics are for suckers
8. Favorite song right now?
"Sail" by Awolnation
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:-P
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Did I really just do this? "sigh"
(for more, follow C. Thomas Howell on Twitter!)
28. Ron "Ronnie" Butler, Jr.
Our guest this week is an underrated actor and comedian: Ron Butler! If you have kids, you may recognize him as Oscar, the quirky and clever receptionist at the Mad Style fashion company on the Nickelodon show, True Jackson, VP, but he has done so much more; he has acted in plays, performed in bands (including singing with his father, Ron Butler Sr., a calypso singer-songwriter), and appeared in such films and shows as Homicide, Boston Legal, Invasion, Ugly Betty, Without a Trace, Eli Stone, First Day, and the new ABC Family original series, Bunheads. He is very kind, and very active on the internet, sharing brilliant videos on YouTube. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"The revolution is costing you five dollars a gallon!" I like this quote because it's so relevant. It's from
a short film that I wrote, produced and directed called, "The Photographs of Your Junk (Will Be
Publicized)."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I had to stop and say hello to that smile.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Bacon
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Kittens f*cking McTavish!! (borrowed from funny man Greg Proops)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Alien. The first, the original.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
"No - I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you!"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I sometimes work as an Obama impersonator - who would you vote for?
8. Favorite song right now?
"Eyesdown" by Bonobo
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I'm sleepy and happy and poised for adventure. And I hate emoticons... :)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Cultivate love and abundance. And let everything be easy...
(for more, follow Ronnie Butler on Twitter!)
"The revolution is costing you five dollars a gallon!" I like this quote because it's so relevant. It's from
a short film that I wrote, produced and directed called, "The Photographs of Your Junk (Will Be
Publicized)."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I had to stop and say hello to that smile.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Bacon
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Kittens f*cking McTavish!! (borrowed from funny man Greg Proops)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Alien. The first, the original.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
"No - I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you!"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I sometimes work as an Obama impersonator - who would you vote for?
8. Favorite song right now?
"Eyesdown" by Bonobo
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I'm sleepy and happy and poised for adventure. And I hate emoticons... :)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Cultivate love and abundance. And let everything be easy...
(for more, follow Ronnie Butler on Twitter!)
27. Bill Oberst, Jr.
AHHHH! It's Bill Oberst, Jr.! This man is amazing. He has been hailed as The King of Horror, becoming a new icon for our generation. He has been in countless films, including Dismal, Ripped Memories, A Haunting in Salem, The Symphony and, most recently, Abraham Lincoln VS Zombies. He is also keeping quite busy, with eight films/shorts in post-production, and four films/shorts in pre-production. If you're like me, you'll remember him from the horrific and brilliant Facebook marketing plan, Take This Lollipop, which was nominated for a daytime Emmy award! He is awesome, scary and incredibly kind. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
Abe (me) as he slices off a zombie's head: "Emancipate this!!"
- Abraham Lincoln VS Zombies
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"You look familiar, have I seen you in something?" (always works in LA because everybody here has
been in a movie)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
I gotta go with broccoli...there is entirely too much starch in the bedroom. I am all about healthy
alternatives.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
My grandmother used to say "Great God General Jackson!" (we were in South Carolina, where the
Civil War apparently never ended)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I am a massive Ray Bradbury fan and have a book of 100 of his short stories. It lives by my bed and is
falling apart but I treasure it. Bradbury kept me sane as a kid. "Pillar Of Fire" remains a favorite story.
I know much of it by heart.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: What do you get if you cross a werewolf with a redneck?
A: Nothing. There's some things a werewolf just ain't gonna do. (I can tell that one because I myself am
a redneck)
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
All my candidates are underdog idealists so they never make it to the finals. I guess Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
"I Come Alive" by The Used
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:D (I always feel :D I'm an optimist)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
You are demanding. And intriguing. Send me a script.
(for more, follow Bill Oberst, Jr. on Twitter!)
Abe (me) as he slices off a zombie's head: "Emancipate this!!"
- Abraham Lincoln VS Zombies
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"You look familiar, have I seen you in something?" (always works in LA because everybody here has
been in a movie)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
I gotta go with broccoli...there is entirely too much starch in the bedroom. I am all about healthy
alternatives.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
My grandmother used to say "Great God General Jackson!" (we were in South Carolina, where the
Civil War apparently never ended)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I am a massive Ray Bradbury fan and have a book of 100 of his short stories. It lives by my bed and is
falling apart but I treasure it. Bradbury kept me sane as a kid. "Pillar Of Fire" remains a favorite story.
I know much of it by heart.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: What do you get if you cross a werewolf with a redneck?
A: Nothing. There's some things a werewolf just ain't gonna do. (I can tell that one because I myself am
a redneck)
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
All my candidates are underdog idealists so they never make it to the finals. I guess Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
"I Come Alive" by The Used
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:D (I always feel :D I'm an optimist)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
You are demanding. And intriguing. Send me a script.
(for more, follow Bill Oberst, Jr. on Twitter!)
26. Amanda Wyss
Keeping with the Nightmare theme, we have Amanda Wyss as our guest this week! In the very first Nightmare on Elm Street, she played Nancy's slightly more promiscuous friend, Tina, who also happens to be Freddy Krueger's first victim in the series of movies. She's been in numerous shows and films, including St. Elsewhere, Better Off Dead, Cold Case, Dexter, Deadly Impact, and most recently, CSI, as a woman named Tina Vincent (I'm sensing a pattern, here...). Amanda is beautiful, funny and just one of the nicest people in the world. I thank her for her kindness and for her participation in this interview. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
Buddy Red Bow: Let's go get a drink Phil.
Rabbit Layton: Well that's the first good idea you've had.
- Powwow Highway
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Don't have one.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Peanut butter cups.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Merde!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Books: The Exorcist, The Other (by Tom Tryon)
Movies: Any movie with vampires!
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I can't tell a joke for the life of me! lol
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
"Brighter Than the Sun" by Colbie Caillat
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thank you!
(for more, follow Amanda Wyss on Twitter!)
Buddy Red Bow: Let's go get a drink Phil.
Rabbit Layton: Well that's the first good idea you've had.
- Powwow Highway
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Don't have one.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Peanut butter cups.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Merde!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Books: The Exorcist, The Other (by Tom Tryon)
Movies: Any movie with vampires!
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I can't tell a joke for the life of me! lol
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
"Brighter Than the Sun" by Colbie Caillat
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thank you!
(for more, follow Amanda Wyss on Twitter!)
25. Marshall Bell
HELLO DIRTBALLS. That's right, readers; Marshall Bell is our guest this week! I know and love him as Coach Schneider in Nightmare on Elm Street 2, which happens to be one of my favorites in the series, but you may recognize him as George (or Kuato) from the original Total Recall. He has been in so much since those roles; Air America, House, Millennium, Good VS Evil, Starship Troopers. I could go on and on, but this man's career speaks for itself. He is incredibly nice, and I'm so glad I've gotten the chance to talk with him on Twitter. He's too awesome for words. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"There's a lotta gold out here, Al."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I flirt with all of 'em but you're the only one I care about
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Durian
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Shucks
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
NoES2
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
No can do
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I voted for Chrissie Hynde in 1980
8. Favorite song right now?
Ooh Poo Pah Doo
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(mooning)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Just keep on truckin', kid
(for more, follow Marshall Bell on Twitter!)
"There's a lotta gold out here, Al."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I flirt with all of 'em but you're the only one I care about
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Durian
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Shucks
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
NoES2
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
No can do
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I voted for Chrissie Hynde in 1980
8. Favorite song right now?
Ooh Poo Pah Doo
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(mooning)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Just keep on truckin', kid
(for more, follow Marshall Bell on Twitter!)
24. Michael Rooker
WELL SHAVE MY HEAD AND CALL ME BOB. The endlessly badass and incredibly awesome Michael Rooker is our very special guest this week! I cannot put into words just how cool this man is and just how excited I am that he agreed to participate in this ridiculous interview. I met The Rook at my first convention ever, and he was one of the kindest guests there. He made the experience fantastic and memorable, and I can't wait to see him at another convention (and, hopefully, on The Walking Dead again as Norman Reedus' racist and psychotic older brother, Merle)! This man has been in Slither, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Super and recently directed and acted in a new horror film called Pennhurst (yes, THAT Pennhurst), among so many other things. He is very talented, and if you get the chance to meet him at a con, take it! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"I'll drop you like a turd from a tall ox." - from an old Western
2. Favorite pick-up line?
What's your sign?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Uni
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Poopy
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The original Night of the Living Dead.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I'm one of the only people I know that has ever knocked themselves out.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Nobody's business but my own.
8. Favorite song right now?
"You're Ever Woman in the World to Me"
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
Perverted wink on iPhone
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
It's nice to not be dead. Hehehe.
(for more, follow Michael Rooker on Twitter!)
"I'll drop you like a turd from a tall ox." - from an old Western
2. Favorite pick-up line?
What's your sign?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Uni
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Poopy
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The original Night of the Living Dead.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I'm one of the only people I know that has ever knocked themselves out.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Nobody's business but my own.
8. Favorite song right now?
"You're Ever Woman in the World to Me"
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
Perverted wink on iPhone
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
It's nice to not be dead. Hehehe.
(for more, follow Michael Rooker on Twitter!)
23. Rachel Brody
This week, we have a very special, talented and unique guest: Rachel Brody! She is a fellow author and blogger with an extreme passion for writing, politics, making a change and leaving a mark on the world.
She has produced numerous theater work, including the award-winning POST. She has also written and produced a number of short films, and her writing has appeared in publications including The Buffalo News, The Spectrum, Rogues & Vagabonds and The British Theatre Guide. I collaborated with her on the climate change speculative fiction anthology, HOT MESS, which is already a bestseller on Amazon.
The collaborators and I will be doing a LIVE READING at the Cornelia Street Cafe in NYC this Thursday, May 17th, at 6:00 pm. Don't miss it! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
She has produced numerous theater work, including the award-winning POST. She has also written and produced a number of short films, and her writing has appeared in publications including The Buffalo News, The Spectrum, Rogues & Vagabonds and The British Theatre Guide. I collaborated with her on the climate change speculative fiction anthology, HOT MESS, which is already a bestseller on Amazon.
The collaborators and I will be doing a LIVE READING at the Cornelia Street Cafe in NYC this Thursday, May 17th, at 6:00 pm. Don't miss it! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
“That stuff is about as real looking as Hershey’s strawberry syrup, you asshole! See? And, real blood
would have dried by now!”
2. Favorite pick-up line?
“Did you want me to pick up some wine while I’m out?”
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Buffalo wings.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Cunting Fuckitysticks. I save it for exceptionally special occasions.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark, Vol. 1-3. If by “favorite” you mean “so scary I can’t even look at
them.”
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
What do you call Paula Deen getting diabetes? Type 2 Irony. (Gakked from Twitter)
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Undecided.
8. Favorite song right now?
“Tears Dry On Their Own” by Amy Winehouse
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
O_O
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Final – what?! Why, am I gonna die now?! Website plug: www.rlbrody.com
(for more, follow Rachel Brody on Twitter!)
“That stuff is about as real looking as Hershey’s strawberry syrup, you asshole! See? And, real blood
would have dried by now!”
2. Favorite pick-up line?
“Did you want me to pick up some wine while I’m out?”
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Buffalo wings.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Cunting Fuckitysticks. I save it for exceptionally special occasions.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark, Vol. 1-3. If by “favorite” you mean “so scary I can’t even look at
them.”
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
What do you call Paula Deen getting diabetes? Type 2 Irony. (Gakked from Twitter)
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Undecided.
8. Favorite song right now?
“Tears Dry On Their Own” by Amy Winehouse
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
O_O
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Final – what?! Why, am I gonna die now?! Website plug: www.rlbrody.com
(for more, follow Rachel Brody on Twitter!)
22. Alberta Watson
This week's guest is another alumni of my favorite show of all time: 24! Alberta Watson, who played Erin Driscoll in Season 4 (which also happens to be my favorite season), is here to answer our silly questions. She is so talented and so kind, and she seems to be popping up all over the place! Recently, she's had a recurring role on Nikita on The CW, where she's played a very interesting and dynamic character that adds a lot to the show. She has been in numerous other films and shows and has received awards for her fantastic work. And she loves to reply to fans!
And now, RAPIDFIRE!
And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"You look like an actress" (men's pickup line not mine, lol).
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Oysters
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Motherfucker
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The first Alien movie
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Have to get back to you on that.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Right now, no one impresses me in Canada.
8. Favorite song right now?
Any Van Morrison
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:P
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Can't wait to open the cottage and watch everything come to life. OK, so 12 words.
(for more, follow Alberta Watson on Twitter!)
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"You look like an actress" (men's pickup line not mine, lol).
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Oysters
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Motherfucker
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The first Alien movie
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Have to get back to you on that.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Right now, no one impresses me in Canada.
8. Favorite song right now?
Any Van Morrison
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:P
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Can't wait to open the cottage and watch everything come to life. OK, so 12 words.
(for more, follow Alberta Watson on Twitter!)
21. Steve Valentine
This week's guest is an exceptionally talented man; Steve Valentine. I recall knowing of Mr. Valentine my whole life, and yet, I can't place what I know him from. All I remember is that it involved magic, and when I saw him on Twitter, I knew him instantly. I suppose that's what's important; Mr. Valentine can give such a memorable performance that it can outlast the actual film or show's memory. He is hilarious, light-hearted, fun and sweet. Plus, he's attractive. And BRITISH. That just puts it over the top, I think. Keep up with him (if you can!). And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
Lots of faves...Just Shoot Me: "I'm not gay, I'm British." Clever line. ;)
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Heard a guy say, "Excuse me, do these shoes make me look fat?"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Everything is unconventional in the bedroom, so bring it all.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I use them all equally, variety is the spice of a good cuss rant.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
It's a tie between Jaws and Showgirls.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Here's 3 punch lines. A) I don't know READ THE CARD! B) I can see your house from here.
C) And the parrot said "What about the tortoise?"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I will vote for whoever got sales tax abolished in Portland. I will vote for them in ANYTHING.
Oh and for Prez? Ummmm aww I'm out of lett-
8. Favorite song right now?
"Gavin's Song" by Marc Broussard
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(shit-ton of emojis)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
This was fun. They asked Marlon Brando what his final thoughts would be when he was on his death
bed. His answer? "What the fuck was that all about?!" Genius.
(for more, follow Steve Valentine on Twitter!)
Lots of faves...Just Shoot Me: "I'm not gay, I'm British." Clever line. ;)
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Heard a guy say, "Excuse me, do these shoes make me look fat?"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Everything is unconventional in the bedroom, so bring it all.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I use them all equally, variety is the spice of a good cuss rant.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
It's a tie between Jaws and Showgirls.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Here's 3 punch lines. A) I don't know READ THE CARD! B) I can see your house from here.
C) And the parrot said "What about the tortoise?"
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I will vote for whoever got sales tax abolished in Portland. I will vote for them in ANYTHING.
Oh and for Prez? Ummmm aww I'm out of lett-
8. Favorite song right now?
"Gavin's Song" by Marc Broussard
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(shit-ton of emojis)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
This was fun. They asked Marlon Brando what his final thoughts would be when he was on his death
bed. His answer? "What the fuck was that all about?!" Genius.
(for more, follow Steve Valentine on Twitter!)
20. Seth Peterson
WE'VE MADE IT TO TWENTY! TWENTY GUESTS! *throws confetti* Our second guest this week is the talented (and incredibly good-looking) Seth Peterson. I first saw him in Providence, a loveable show about a family in Rhode Island, which I used to watch with my mom. Now, I’m glad to say, we get to see him every now and then on Burn Notice, where he plays Michael Westen’s brother, Nate. He has been in numerous other shows and films (Lie to Me, Charmed, CSI, Hate Crime), but I believe he really shines as Nate Westen. It’s hard to put into words just how awesome this man is, especially since he replies to all his fans on Twitter. He has a great personality and is just as much fun as the characters he plays. Plus, he loves zombies and The Walking Dead! If that’s not reason enough to follow him, I dunno what is. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
I wrote a play about a couple of Jewish dudes called “Sweet And Sour, Hold The Pork.” In it, the
character Fifle says, “I’m just saying…just because I promised not to spit in soup doesn’t mean I can’t
spit on a few girl scouts now and again, does it?”
2. Favorite pick-up line?
If it were me, I’d look her in the eye, smile and say, “Hi, I’m Seth.”
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Coconut sherbet
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Walker-bait (only Walking Dead fans will get this one).
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Walking Dead comics and tv show – the best entertainment out there now.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Mickey Mouse is a pathological liar. That’s why when you see him at Disneyland, he never says
anything.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I’m a democrat. Bam!
8. Favorite song right now?
Tough one. I’m stuck on two right now. “We Are Young” by Fun and “You F*cking Did It” by Jason
Mraz.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
The heart is not always the smartest organ.
(for more, follow Seth Peterson on Twitter!)
I wrote a play about a couple of Jewish dudes called “Sweet And Sour, Hold The Pork.” In it, the
character Fifle says, “I’m just saying…just because I promised not to spit in soup doesn’t mean I can’t
spit on a few girl scouts now and again, does it?”
2. Favorite pick-up line?
If it were me, I’d look her in the eye, smile and say, “Hi, I’m Seth.”
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Coconut sherbet
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Walker-bait (only Walking Dead fans will get this one).
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Walking Dead comics and tv show – the best entertainment out there now.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Mickey Mouse is a pathological liar. That’s why when you see him at Disneyland, he never says
anything.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I’m a democrat. Bam!
8. Favorite song right now?
Tough one. I’m stuck on two right now. “We Are Young” by Fun and “You F*cking Did It” by Jason
Mraz.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
The heart is not always the smartest organ.
(for more, follow Seth Peterson on Twitter!)
19. Patrick Kerr
Our first guest this week is someone you have seen in almost everything: Patrick Kerr. He has been in so many shows, it’s crazy, but my favorite role of his (and what I believe he’s most known for) is as Noel on Frasier. Strange, quirky, nerdy and utterly in love with Roz, Noel is a completely unforgettable character. I also know him from an episode of Friends, in which he was particularly strange, but I’m sure a lot of you know him from Curb Your Enthusiasm, where he plays a blind pianist! What’s not to like about that? This is a special interview for me, as Mr. Kerr was the first celebrity to ever follow me on Twitter and has always been very nice to me. For that, I am forever grateful. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
I don't remember the line exactly but it had the word "agapanthus" in it.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
You want fries with that?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Sausage.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
See above.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
"Eat Great, Lose Weight" by Suzanne Somers.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: What can’t Helen Keller type? A: She’s dead.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
President Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
I’ll Take the Rain – R.E.M.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I don’t express my feelings with emoticons but I always add one to my signature. They love it at
JiffyLube.
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
You want fries with that?
(for more, follow Patrick Kerr on Twitter!)
I don't remember the line exactly but it had the word "agapanthus" in it.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
You want fries with that?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Sausage.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
See above.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
"Eat Great, Lose Weight" by Suzanne Somers.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: What can’t Helen Keller type? A: She’s dead.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
President Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
I’ll Take the Rain – R.E.M.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I don’t express my feelings with emoticons but I always add one to my signature. They love it at
JiffyLube.
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
You want fries with that?
(for more, follow Patrick Kerr on Twitter!)
18. Barry Eisler
We have an author in the house this week! I am honored to welcome Barry Eisler, the magnificently talented spy thriller novelist and ex-CIA agent (could he BE any more awesome?). The man is a powerhouse of epic writing and award-winning books, with his work translated into almost twenty languages. Now THAT is impressive. For those in love with his incredibly popular Rain series, you'll be glad to hear the following news blurb from his site: "Excited to say that the page for The Detachment is up! The digital is an Amazon exclusive. The digital audiobook download (narrated by me, same as Inside Out) is available exclusively through Amazon and affiliates (Brilliance and Audible). In addition, the trade paperback is now available wherever books are sold, and likewise for the CD version of the audiobook. " Mr. Eisler is quite kind and I am so grateful for the time he took out of his seriously crazy schedule to do this interview. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
Well, I'd kill a man in a fair fight… or if I thought he might start a fair fight.
--Jayne in Joss Whedon's Serenity
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Mine's bigger than that. My cucumber… it's bigger.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Crackers, I guess to test whether all those "wouldn't throw him/her out of bed for eating them" claims
are worth anything.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuck. Those hard "k" consonants make for strong cuss words. Plus it's just so versatile. Stick it
anywhere in a sentence and it intensifies what comes next.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Probably Alien. Just so creepy, especially the rape image system Ridley Scott was deploying. And I
loved Salem's Lot. I'm a sucker for a good vampire story.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
Get in the van.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
None of the above.
8. Favorite song right now?
Goddamn, I love "Nature Boy" by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
////////////
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
This was different -- thanks!
(for more, follow Barry Eisler on Twitter!)
Well, I'd kill a man in a fair fight… or if I thought he might start a fair fight.
--Jayne in Joss Whedon's Serenity
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Mine's bigger than that. My cucumber… it's bigger.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Crackers, I guess to test whether all those "wouldn't throw him/her out of bed for eating them" claims
are worth anything.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuck. Those hard "k" consonants make for strong cuss words. Plus it's just so versatile. Stick it
anywhere in a sentence and it intensifies what comes next.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Probably Alien. Just so creepy, especially the rape image system Ridley Scott was deploying. And I
loved Salem's Lot. I'm a sucker for a good vampire story.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
Get in the van.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
None of the above.
8. Favorite song right now?
Goddamn, I love "Nature Boy" by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
////////////
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
This was different -- thanks!
(for more, follow Barry Eisler on Twitter!)
17. Rick Hoffman
Our guest this week has been in so much! He's one of those people whose face you recognize instantly; "Wasn't he that guy in that show?" And yes, he WAS that guy in that show. He's been in The $treet, Philly, The Practice, Monk, The Bernie Mac Show, Jake in Progress, Commander in Chief, Shark, Chuck, CSI, NCIS, Leverage, Lie to Me, Samantha Who?, The Mentalist, and most recently, Suits. But that's just the tip of the iceberg, really. He has guested and starred in just about everything for good reason: the man is a fantastic actor. He can make you absolutely hate him one moment, then feel sympathy for him in the next. Talented is an understatement. I have thoroughly enjoyed him on Suits and can't wait for the new season! His interactions with Harvey alone are reason enough to watch. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
Patrick: "You'd be happy to know I'm opening my own cupcake shop."
Jake: "What are you calling it?"
Patrick: "Muffin."
- Jake In Progress
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I have never attempted to pick up anyone...too embarrassing
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Gefilte Fish:)
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckwad/Fuckwit/Douche
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
There are too many...Audition...Old Boy...I think Seven was as thrilling as any horror film...one of my
favorites EVER in general.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Been driving around Toronto 5 months. Unable to open driver side door. I crawl out passenger side
every time...Torontonian's seem extremely disturbed by this.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
Come Down In Time. Sung by Sting, written by Elton John and Bernie Taupin
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:>
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
It was a pleasure to answer your questions!
(for more, follow Rick Hoffman on Twitter!)
Patrick: "You'd be happy to know I'm opening my own cupcake shop."
Jake: "What are you calling it?"
Patrick: "Muffin."
- Jake In Progress
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I have never attempted to pick up anyone...too embarrassing
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Gefilte Fish:)
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckwad/Fuckwit/Douche
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
There are too many...Audition...Old Boy...I think Seven was as thrilling as any horror film...one of my
favorites EVER in general.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Been driving around Toronto 5 months. Unable to open driver side door. I crawl out passenger side
every time...Torontonian's seem extremely disturbed by this.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
Come Down In Time. Sung by Sting, written by Elton John and Bernie Taupin
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:>
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
It was a pleasure to answer your questions!
(for more, follow Rick Hoffman on Twitter!)
16. Sam Neill
This week's guest is another man that I've loved since childhood: Sam Neill. Jurassic Park has always been a well-liked film in my house, but in high school, I really realized the brilliance of Michael Crichton, and JP is now one of my all-time favorites. Mr. Neill's portrayal of Dr. Grant has stuck with me for years and will always be my favorite role of his. However, Sam Neill has done a LOT before and since Jurassic Park; The Hunt for Red October, Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book, The Piano, Event Horizon, The Tudors and, most recently, one of the leading roles in FOX's new show, Alcatraz. Mr. Neill also owns and runs a vineyard in New Zealand called Two Paddocks, which is rapidly growing. I am almost at a loss for words in the honor of this marvelous man's participation in my silly interview. Many gracious thanks to you, Mr. Neill. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"But that's not what happened. Not at all." [only one I can remember]
2. Favorite pick-up line?
You wouldn't like me.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
No food in the bedroom, thanks
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I love swear words, but I never write them down.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Always the one I am reading now – in this case “A Short History of Everything."
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I never tell jokes
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I don't vote in America
8. Favorite song right now?
"You Never Know" by Wilco
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
[ coffee ] deprived
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I was never much of a thinker
(for more, follow Sam Neill on Twitter!)
"But that's not what happened. Not at all." [only one I can remember]
2. Favorite pick-up line?
You wouldn't like me.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
No food in the bedroom, thanks
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I love swear words, but I never write them down.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Always the one I am reading now – in this case “A Short History of Everything."
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
I never tell jokes
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I don't vote in America
8. Favorite song right now?
"You Never Know" by Wilco
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
[ coffee ] deprived
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I was never much of a thinker
(for more, follow Sam Neill on Twitter!)
15. Brad Loekle
This week's guest should get some laughs, as he's one of the funniest comedians in existence right now. I have seen the brilliance of Brad Loekle on truTV's hilarious original show, World's Dumbest, but you may know him from his three years as a guest-host on Sirius XM Radio's Morning Jolt, or from his monthly column in the Key West Gay Rag exclusively for the queer community in Key West, Florida, OR from his incredibly popular and successful live stand-up all over the world! He is staying busy and staying funny, and I thank him for taking the time to do this interview. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
I can't really pick a favorite thing that I'VE written. It would be weird for me to place more value on
one joke or idea over another. But I love things other people have written. I actually keep a notebook of
just things other people have said or written that get my juices flowing. I know... I'm like a fat 14 year
old girl who watches too much Oprah... My favorite quote is probably one that Martha Graham gave to
Agnes DeMille. Agnes hadn't yet become the hugely successful choreographer that she would
one day be, and was so discouraged that she was going to quit the business and give up on art. Martha
wrote to her in a letter the following... and it has been my favorite quote since I was 18...
"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there
is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist
through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to
determine how good it is, nor how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it
yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or
your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the
channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatsoever at any time. There is on a
queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than
the others.”
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I don't use them... but if you want to get into MY pants, anything along the lines of "you're the funniest
person in the world" or "have you lost weight?" usually work pretty well.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the
bedroom?
I like to keep my food and my sex very separate... I don't know if that makes me "Kosher" in some sort
of weird way...
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I really love to swear... always have. So it's a real Sophie's Choice as to which is my favorite. But I do
like calling people "Douchefuck"....
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I LOVE horror movies!!! Always have. Nightmare on Elm Street (the whole series) is by far my
favorite. I adore them. I think it's because Freddy was the first major horror character of my
generation to really talk to his victims and interact with them. And, the fucker was funny!
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Nurse walks into a bank, goes to pull out her pen and pulls out a rectal thermometer and says "oh
great! Some asshole's got my pen!"....... that's 26 words, suck it.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I want Sharon Needles to win! Oh... you probably don't mean RuPaul's Drag Race, do you??
8. Favorite song right now?
There is an Australian singer name COURTNEY ACT. She was one of the finalists in their Australian
Idol tv show and she... is actually a HE. Amazing singer and gender illusionist. And also a dear friend!
We've performed together all over the world. Her dance single "Welcome to Disgraceland" is one of
my favorite songs to listen to when I'm getting ready to go out at night.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
;-P
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I need coffee... and to get laid. only one will happen.
(for more, follow Brad Loekle on Twitter!)
I can't really pick a favorite thing that I'VE written. It would be weird for me to place more value on
one joke or idea over another. But I love things other people have written. I actually keep a notebook of
just things other people have said or written that get my juices flowing. I know... I'm like a fat 14 year
old girl who watches too much Oprah... My favorite quote is probably one that Martha Graham gave to
Agnes DeMille. Agnes hadn't yet become the hugely successful choreographer that she would
one day be, and was so discouraged that she was going to quit the business and give up on art. Martha
wrote to her in a letter the following... and it has been my favorite quote since I was 18...
"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there
is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist
through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to
determine how good it is, nor how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it
yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or
your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the
channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatsoever at any time. There is on a
queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than
the others.”
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I don't use them... but if you want to get into MY pants, anything along the lines of "you're the funniest
person in the world" or "have you lost weight?" usually work pretty well.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the
bedroom?
I like to keep my food and my sex very separate... I don't know if that makes me "Kosher" in some sort
of weird way...
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I really love to swear... always have. So it's a real Sophie's Choice as to which is my favorite. But I do
like calling people "Douchefuck"....
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I LOVE horror movies!!! Always have. Nightmare on Elm Street (the whole series) is by far my
favorite. I adore them. I think it's because Freddy was the first major horror character of my
generation to really talk to his victims and interact with them. And, the fucker was funny!
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Nurse walks into a bank, goes to pull out her pen and pulls out a rectal thermometer and says "oh
great! Some asshole's got my pen!"....... that's 26 words, suck it.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
I want Sharon Needles to win! Oh... you probably don't mean RuPaul's Drag Race, do you??
8. Favorite song right now?
There is an Australian singer name COURTNEY ACT. She was one of the finalists in their Australian
Idol tv show and she... is actually a HE. Amazing singer and gender illusionist. And also a dear friend!
We've performed together all over the world. Her dance single "Welcome to Disgraceland" is one of
my favorite songs to listen to when I'm getting ready to go out at night.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
;-P
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I need coffee... and to get laid. only one will happen.
(for more, follow Brad Loekle on Twitter!)
14. Paul Adelstein
I can barely contain my excitement, here. PAUL ADELSTEIN. Do you know who this awesome man is? Because you should. I'd venture a guess that half of you (mostly women) recognize him as Cooper from Private Practice. The other half of you are like me; you know him as Kellerman, the crazy bastard who worked for the President in seasons one and two of Prison Break (my second favorite show of all time!).
He has had lead roles in Cupid, Turks and Hack, and made appearances in E.R., Scrubs, Without a Trace, Medium, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law (another one of my favorite shows!) and numerous other shows and films. The man is a fantastic actor with a great sense of humor, not to mention he's so damn kind. Plus, I think that's just an absolutely lovely picture of him. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
He has had lead roles in Cupid, Turks and Hack, and made appearances in E.R., Scrubs, Without a Trace, Medium, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law (another one of my favorite shows!) and numerous other shows and films. The man is a fantastic actor with a great sense of humor, not to mention he's so damn kind. Plus, I think that's just an absolutely lovely picture of him. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"You fascinate me." from the Coen brothers' Intolerable Cruelty
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Same as above.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Food does not belong in the bedroom, unless you're watching tv.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckstick
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Shining/Anything by Glenn Beck
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: What's the worst possible thing to hear right after you've had sex with Willie Nelson?
A: I'm not Willie Nelson.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
President Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
'Switchblade' by Jenny & Johnny
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(~~~~~~~~~~~)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Does 'final thought' mean I'm on my death bed? Fuckstick.
(for more, follow Paul Adelstein on Twitter!)
"You fascinate me." from the Coen brothers' Intolerable Cruelty
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Same as above.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Food does not belong in the bedroom, unless you're watching tv.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Fuckstick
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Shining/Anything by Glenn Beck
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: What's the worst possible thing to hear right after you've had sex with Willie Nelson?
A: I'm not Willie Nelson.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
President Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
'Switchblade' by Jenny & Johnny
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(~~~~~~~~~~~)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Does 'final thought' mean I'm on my death bed? Fuckstick.
(for more, follow Paul Adelstein on Twitter!)
13. Phil LaMarr
Keeping with the Metal Gear Solid theme, this week's guest is the man of many voices: Phil LaMarr! This talented actor has been the voice of more characters that have touched your life than you ever could have possibly imagined. Samurai Jack, Futurama, Jak and Daxter, Pulp Fiction, Metal Gear Solid 2 and 4, Condemned 2, inFAMOUS, and just about a BILLION other things you've seen/played. Not to mention his regular spot on the classic sketch show MadTV, where he often stole the show as the UBS Guy. He is hysterical, kind and painfully intelligent, and his voice will follow you to your GRAVE...or, to the ends of time, since he seems to enjoy playing vampires (who, ya know, never die). And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Okay, one more death scream just like that but more painful and twice as long" - Every director in
every video game, ever
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Dodge trucks are Ram tough!"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Food is for the kitchen. For that matter, so is sex.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
"Lipton" As in "what a Lipton question!" It'll catch on, you'll see.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Yours!
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
The horse fell in the mud. Oh sorry, I thought you said a dirty story and that we were six.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
The guy with the best hair. That's who always wins anyway.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Razzle-dazzle" from CHICAGO.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
<:|
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I reserve the right to disavow any of the above.
(for more, follow Phil LaMarr on Twitter!)
"Okay, one more death scream just like that but more painful and twice as long" - Every director in
every video game, ever
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Dodge trucks are Ram tough!"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Food is for the kitchen. For that matter, so is sex.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
"Lipton" As in "what a Lipton question!" It'll catch on, you'll see.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Yours!
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
The horse fell in the mud. Oh sorry, I thought you said a dirty story and that we were six.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
The guy with the best hair. That's who always wins anyway.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Razzle-dazzle" from CHICAGO.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
<:|
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I reserve the right to disavow any of the above.
(for more, follow Phil LaMarr on Twitter!)
12. David Hayter
That's right, guys. David. Goddamn. Hayter. The voice of Solid Snake from the Metal Gear Solid series. This man has been a part of my life since early childhood - the first game my family ever played on the original PlayStation was Metal Gear Solid. We have played through the whole series, quote it constantly and my bro and I have MGS-athons where we play the games over and over again. Mr. Hayter is staying busy as the star of a new movie, The Devil's Mile. He is so incredibly kind and was so wonderful to do this interview with us (my brother joined me for this one). I have about half of the interview recorded, which you can see after the Rapidfire interview (for the full David Hayter effect, listen to the video below while reading along). Speaking of, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Men get arrested, dogs get put down." -Rorshach, Watchmen
"The mind is not a box to be opened and closed, it is a beehive with thousands of different
compartments, and to just reach into it, I might be able to retrieve your memories, but I might destroy
your mind in the process." - Xavier, X-Men 2
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Excuse me, are you familiar with the movie X-Men?"
"I never realized an analyst in military technology could be so...cute."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
None! What're you doing in there? You're gonna get crumbs in the bed! I suppose if you're gonna go
with a food, maybe strawberries are the most appropriate, but you're really gonna get juice everywhere
and you think it's gonna be more fun than it ends up being. I would recommend you keep your eating to
the kitchen and the dining room and your love-making everywhere else.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Well, I guess, I mean, it's so obvious, but I guess fuck would be my favorite swear word, because it's so
applicable across a number of platforms and still carries a sufficient amount of shock value to startle
people at times, but I also, I kind of like the way the English use the word "cunt." It's not so offensive
there as it is here, and it's usually applied to a man. So I kind of, I'm kinda jealous that they're able to
use "cunt" in that way. "Oh, he's a bloody cunt," ya know, it just sounds...it sounds better there.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
One of my all-time favorite books, and I guess it's technically con, would be The Stand by Stephen
King. Although I also just reread Christine, and Salem's Lot is one of the greatest most horrifying
books I've ever read. My favorite horror movie I think...I think the best horror movie ever made is The
Shining. I think, because I write genre movies - sci-fi, fantasy, horror - the key is to tie the fear to
something real, something we can all identify with, and the fear of being murdered by your own mother
is so horrifying and so intense and, ya know, you're a little kid, I think is a truly devastating terror that
all our inner children can feel and appreciate. Plus, ya know, Stanley Kubrick had his best...people say
that Jack Nicholson was over the top, I think he's amazing in the movie, and it's so beautifully shot.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: How many screenwriters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Do we have to change anything?
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama. He helped to rebuild the economy after Bush destroyed it, recovered three and a half million
jobs, Bin Laden is dead, car companies are back on top. What else do people want?
8. Favorite song right now?
"Walk" by the Foo Fighters. I'm learning to play and sing it and will probably be playing it in Toronto
with my band at some point. I've also been playing "Come Dancing" by The Kinks for my 7 year old
daughter. She loves that song and we recently went to a father-daughter dance at her school and we
listened to that song on the way there.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:D *thumbs up* That's a human emoticon.
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Please, I really don't want to die! *Skype cuts out*
(for more, follow David Hayter on Twitter!)
"Men get arrested, dogs get put down." -Rorshach, Watchmen
"The mind is not a box to be opened and closed, it is a beehive with thousands of different
compartments, and to just reach into it, I might be able to retrieve your memories, but I might destroy
your mind in the process." - Xavier, X-Men 2
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Excuse me, are you familiar with the movie X-Men?"
"I never realized an analyst in military technology could be so...cute."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
None! What're you doing in there? You're gonna get crumbs in the bed! I suppose if you're gonna go
with a food, maybe strawberries are the most appropriate, but you're really gonna get juice everywhere
and you think it's gonna be more fun than it ends up being. I would recommend you keep your eating to
the kitchen and the dining room and your love-making everywhere else.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Well, I guess, I mean, it's so obvious, but I guess fuck would be my favorite swear word, because it's so
applicable across a number of platforms and still carries a sufficient amount of shock value to startle
people at times, but I also, I kind of like the way the English use the word "cunt." It's not so offensive
there as it is here, and it's usually applied to a man. So I kind of, I'm kinda jealous that they're able to
use "cunt" in that way. "Oh, he's a bloody cunt," ya know, it just sounds...it sounds better there.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
One of my all-time favorite books, and I guess it's technically con, would be The Stand by Stephen
King. Although I also just reread Christine, and Salem's Lot is one of the greatest most horrifying
books I've ever read. My favorite horror movie I think...I think the best horror movie ever made is The
Shining. I think, because I write genre movies - sci-fi, fantasy, horror - the key is to tie the fear to
something real, something we can all identify with, and the fear of being murdered by your own mother
is so horrifying and so intense and, ya know, you're a little kid, I think is a truly devastating terror that
all our inner children can feel and appreciate. Plus, ya know, Stanley Kubrick had his best...people say
that Jack Nicholson was over the top, I think he's amazing in the movie, and it's so beautifully shot.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: How many screenwriters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Do we have to change anything?
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama. He helped to rebuild the economy after Bush destroyed it, recovered three and a half million
jobs, Bin Laden is dead, car companies are back on top. What else do people want?
8. Favorite song right now?
"Walk" by the Foo Fighters. I'm learning to play and sing it and will probably be playing it in Toronto
with my band at some point. I've also been playing "Come Dancing" by The Kinks for my 7 year old
daughter. She loves that song and we recently went to a father-daughter dance at her school and we
listened to that song on the way there.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:D *thumbs up* That's a human emoticon.
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Please, I really don't want to die! *Skype cuts out*
(for more, follow David Hayter on Twitter!)
11. Tim Matheson
Dear god, it's Tim Matheson! The previous generation will recognize him as Otter from Animal House. My generation may recognize him as the man of many roles; The West Wing, Burn Notice, Hart of Dixie...though, I personally know him to be Larry, the evil man who always comes back with a bone to pick with Michael Westen. He has been acting for about 50 years and he still looks damn good! Recently, he has directed episodes of Covert Affairs, Suits, The Good Guys, Burn Notice, White Collar, Criminal Minds, and currently has a recurring role on Hart of Dixie. I'm glad he could take a sec to do the Rapidfire interview, because WOW, is he busy! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"The total tonnage of things I know that you don't, would stun a team of oxen in it's tracks!" Aaron
Sorkin: VP Hoynes to Toby (Richard Schiff) on THE WEST WING
2. Favorite pick-up line?
No such thing, but once just impulsively said to an interesting looking woman: "so glad we made it
back alive from our last adventure." She bit, and said "thank God. We were lucky." Then it became
improv, and I like Theater Games. We had fun. And, fun is sexy, too.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Tofu dog
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Balls!!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
EVIL DEAD 2
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Man at bar: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About 3 feet tall.
Man: Damn, then I just ran over a nun!
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama, and liberals, progressives, & more liberals
8. Favorite song right now?
LOOKIN' FOR A GOOD TIME - Lady A
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(a ton of fucking emojis)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
It just keeps getting better and better...
(for more, follow Tim Matheson on Twitter!)
"The total tonnage of things I know that you don't, would stun a team of oxen in it's tracks!" Aaron
Sorkin: VP Hoynes to Toby (Richard Schiff) on THE WEST WING
2. Favorite pick-up line?
No such thing, but once just impulsively said to an interesting looking woman: "so glad we made it
back alive from our last adventure." She bit, and said "thank God. We were lucky." Then it became
improv, and I like Theater Games. We had fun. And, fun is sexy, too.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Tofu dog
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Balls!!
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
EVIL DEAD 2
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Man at bar: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About 3 feet tall.
Man: Damn, then I just ran over a nun!
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama, and liberals, progressives, & more liberals
8. Favorite song right now?
LOOKIN' FOR A GOOD TIME - Lady A
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(a ton of fucking emojis)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
It just keeps getting better and better...
(for more, follow Tim Matheson on Twitter!)
10. Colin Mochrie
THE TIME HAS COME. I cannot put into words, readers, just how excited I am by this week's guest. It is common knowledge that I am a Whose Line is it Anyway? fanatic, but even better, Colin Mochrie is one of my top two favorite improv-ers (is that the right word?) of all time (Ryan Stiles being the other). This talented man is working on so much right now; he's secured a book deal, has TV shows and DVDs available, is doing improv with Brad Sherwood, another Whose Line alum. That's one of the best things about Colin - he will be making us laugh forever. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Hey, don't cry...you're not that good an actor.."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
How much do you weigh?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Mushroom risotto
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Bastards.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Shining (book), Shaun of the Dead (Movie)
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Why do mice have small balls?
Because only 11 in the world know how to dance.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Martin Sheen
8. Favorite song right now?
King of the Road
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
( -_-) ZZzzzzzzz
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
If the world could only..no, wait a minute...DAMN!
(for more, follow Colin Mochrie on Twitter!)
"Hey, don't cry...you're not that good an actor.."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
How much do you weigh?
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Mushroom risotto
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Bastards.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Shining (book), Shaun of the Dead (Movie)
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Why do mice have small balls?
Because only 11 in the world know how to dance.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Martin Sheen
8. Favorite song right now?
King of the Road
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
( -_-) ZZzzzzzzz
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
If the world could only..no, wait a minute...DAMN!
(for more, follow Colin Mochrie on Twitter!)
9. Tim Guinee
It's outrageous how many times I have typed this lovely man's name as "Time Guinee." Anywho, Tim Guinee has been in so much, it's hard to pick just one thing in which he has shined. Let's face it, he steals the show. The Good Wife, Person of Interest, 24, not to mention Iron Man (1 and 2), Cyrus, John Carpenter's Vampires and so many others. Not only is he a magnificently talented actor, but he's also funny, kind, brilliant...and look at those blue eyes. They're so strong, they could reach right out of that picture and punch you in the face. Plus, the impossibly fluffy hair. All right, I'm done.
AND NOW, RAPIDFIRE!
AND NOW, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
Hello hams. (from Sweet Land)
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I’ve never had one.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Mango. Mangoes belong everywhere. Mango is the greatest food ever.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Goatfucker (obviously)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Ack – too many: The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, Poltergeist,
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Two peanuts walking down the road. One was assaulted. (A salted) – actually my favorite bad joke of all
time.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Bill McKibben
8. Favorite song right now?
I’m really into Zoe Keating right now – All of Zoe Keating
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I have no idea what an emoticon is. So I’m feeling slightly embarrassed and confused and impotent in
my inability to express these things. Oh crap this question is a wormhole!
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Fuck emoticons.
(for more, follow Tim Guinee on Twitter!)
Hello hams. (from Sweet Land)
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I’ve never had one.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Mango. Mangoes belong everywhere. Mango is the greatest food ever.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Goatfucker (obviously)
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Ack – too many: The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, Poltergeist,
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Two peanuts walking down the road. One was assaulted. (A salted) – actually my favorite bad joke of all
time.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Bill McKibben
8. Favorite song right now?
I’m really into Zoe Keating right now – All of Zoe Keating
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I have no idea what an emoticon is. So I’m feeling slightly embarrassed and confused and impotent in
my inability to express these things. Oh crap this question is a wormhole!
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Fuck emoticons.
(for more, follow Tim Guinee on Twitter!)
8. Jason Mayland
This week's guest is a hysterical writer for the hit ABC show Wipeout: Jason Mayland! A man of many talents whose brilliant jokes are delivered most amusingly by John Henson and John Anderson every Thursday at 8:00PM (EST), Mr. Mayland has been very kind to me on Twitter, and endlessly hilarious, as anyone who's seen Wipeout would know. Want to hear some of his greatest punchlines? Watch the show! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
I don't have a favorite line of all time. But I will admit that I wrote a joke last year (my first writing
season on Wipeout) for John Henson: "Sheep are awesome! They're like Snuggies with legs!" and it
was the first line of mine that people actually called out as funny on Twitter, so that was fun.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hey honey, I paid the mortgage again this month! Who wants to tickle fight?"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Trader Joe's frozen mango cubes. Way better than regular ice cubes with more vitamins - am I right?
Who's with me, people?
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Whenever I stub my toe I instinctively say "fuck me with a butterknife." I have said this for years, only
when I'm by myself, and I don't know why. I'm not sure why I chose butter knife - it would be less
painful than a regular knife, so I guess that's good. And it's a little fancier, somehow, like maybe I'm
at a fancy dinner party when I get fucked? But there it is. Fuck me with a butterknife.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I love The Monk by Matthew Lewis - written in 1789 (or so) when he was 19 - super pulpy gothic
melodrama horror. American Psycho is also one of my favorite books. For horror movies, it's the
original Halloween, because i love that John Carpenter wrote that theme music himself and there's still
never been anything creepier.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
On our third date, I tried to impress my wife by smoking pot with her. I took a hit, stood up, and
passed out cold.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama. I'll quote SNL writer Alex Baze who gets my nomination for 2011 Tweet of the Year: "When
people say they aren't voting for Obama because he can't solve all the problems, it's like saying, this
guy can't cure cancer - I think I'll vote for cancer."
8. Favorite song right now?
"Shake It Out" by Florence + The Machine.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
B)%=] That looks like a guy with manboobs who needs to go to the gym, right?
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I am not famous or interesting enough for this interview.
(for more, follow Jason Mayland on Twitter!)
I don't have a favorite line of all time. But I will admit that I wrote a joke last year (my first writing
season on Wipeout) for John Henson: "Sheep are awesome! They're like Snuggies with legs!" and it
was the first line of mine that people actually called out as funny on Twitter, so that was fun.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hey honey, I paid the mortgage again this month! Who wants to tickle fight?"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Trader Joe's frozen mango cubes. Way better than regular ice cubes with more vitamins - am I right?
Who's with me, people?
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Whenever I stub my toe I instinctively say "fuck me with a butterknife." I have said this for years, only
when I'm by myself, and I don't know why. I'm not sure why I chose butter knife - it would be less
painful than a regular knife, so I guess that's good. And it's a little fancier, somehow, like maybe I'm
at a fancy dinner party when I get fucked? But there it is. Fuck me with a butterknife.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
I love The Monk by Matthew Lewis - written in 1789 (or so) when he was 19 - super pulpy gothic
melodrama horror. American Psycho is also one of my favorite books. For horror movies, it's the
original Halloween, because i love that John Carpenter wrote that theme music himself and there's still
never been anything creepier.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
On our third date, I tried to impress my wife by smoking pot with her. I took a hit, stood up, and
passed out cold.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama. I'll quote SNL writer Alex Baze who gets my nomination for 2011 Tweet of the Year: "When
people say they aren't voting for Obama because he can't solve all the problems, it's like saying, this
guy can't cure cancer - I think I'll vote for cancer."
8. Favorite song right now?
"Shake It Out" by Florence + The Machine.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
B)%=] That looks like a guy with manboobs who needs to go to the gym, right?
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I am not famous or interesting enough for this interview.
(for more, follow Jason Mayland on Twitter!)
7. James P. Morrison
Ahhhh! James P. Morrison! Can this man BE any more wonderful? Bill Buchanan from 24, recurring appearances on HawthoRNe and Private Practice, plenty of roles in numerous other films and shows. A man of incredible integrity, honor, values and principles, with a great sense of humor, an unmatched style of acting and good looks to rival anyone sharing a stage with him, James P. Morrison is a king among men.
He is my first choice for the lead in my show, and I very much hope to work with him someday soon.
And now, without further ado, RAPIDFIRE!
He is my first choice for the lead in my show, and I very much hope to work with him someday soon.
And now, without further ado, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"I maintain that Truth is a pathless land" - Krishnamurti
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I'm glad you married me.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Artichoke hearts
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Shit and two is eight.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Shining (novel)
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Lovable genius Andy Kaufman has returned for another of his profoundly ridiculous parodies as the
nasty & ignorant politician Rick Santorum.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
Jerusalem by Steve Earle
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:?
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
We need to learn how to take care of one another.
(for more, follow James P. Morrison on Twitter!)
"I maintain that Truth is a pathless land" - Krishnamurti
2. Favorite pick-up line?
I'm glad you married me.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Artichoke hearts
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Shit and two is eight.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Shining (novel)
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Lovable genius Andy Kaufman has returned for another of his profoundly ridiculous parodies as the
nasty & ignorant politician Rick Santorum.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
Jerusalem by Steve Earle
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:?
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
We need to learn how to take care of one another.
(for more, follow James P. Morrison on Twitter!)
6. Ryan Drake
This week's guest is a hilarious comedian and awesome person: Ryan Drake.
According to his own personal bio: "Ryan Drake is a stand-up comedian, improvisor, internet-douche, and host of 'No Fun Intended' on TheSpyFM.com (Sundays at 8pm central!). He spends a majority of his time sitting at his house in Oklahoma City trying to think of things that will make people like him due to his crippling insecurity issues. He enjoys music and burritos." It has been an honor and a pleasure to follow this man on Twitter, and you should do the same! And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
Oh man. The only time I have ever been booed off a comedy stage was when I did an open-mic contest
last January, on the same day that the New York Jets beat the shit out of the New England Patriots in
the AFC playoffs. My set wasn't going very well and I knew I wasn't going to win, so I decided to end it
with something like "How about that game today, eh? Man. I haven't seen 'Jets' do that much damage
to 'Patriots' since 9/11!" and the crowd instantly turned on me/booed me off. To this day it's probably
one of my favorite things I have ever said.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hey girl. Why don't we turn this one-some into a two-some?". It's never worked.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
On New Year's Eve last weekend, one of my friends had vodka-soaked cherries at his party. I spent the
whole time wondering how awesome it would be to use those while having sex. I mean, kids are putting
Everclear-soaked tampons in their asses to get wasted now, right? Why not kick it up a notch?
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I like to use "buttfucking" as an adverb. I got it from "Team America" when one of the characters calls
another one "a buttfucking quitter". I remember laughing way too hard at that and it's been in my
lexicon ever since.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The original 'Nightmare On Elm Street' will always have a special place in my heart.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
TRUE STORY: I was with a chick once, but had ran out of condoms. My excuse was "I didn't think
you'd be this easy".
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Barack Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Born To Die" by Lana Del Rey. I'm obsessed with her. Her voice is amazing. And she's the hottest
woman on the planet right now. The video for this song is epic.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(thumbs up emoji)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thank you so much for following me on Twitter!
(for more, follow Ryan Drake on Twitter!)
Oh man. The only time I have ever been booed off a comedy stage was when I did an open-mic contest
last January, on the same day that the New York Jets beat the shit out of the New England Patriots in
the AFC playoffs. My set wasn't going very well and I knew I wasn't going to win, so I decided to end it
with something like "How about that game today, eh? Man. I haven't seen 'Jets' do that much damage
to 'Patriots' since 9/11!" and the crowd instantly turned on me/booed me off. To this day it's probably
one of my favorite things I have ever said.
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hey girl. Why don't we turn this one-some into a two-some?". It's never worked.
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
On New Year's Eve last weekend, one of my friends had vodka-soaked cherries at his party. I spent the
whole time wondering how awesome it would be to use those while having sex. I mean, kids are putting
Everclear-soaked tampons in their asses to get wasted now, right? Why not kick it up a notch?
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
I like to use "buttfucking" as an adverb. I got it from "Team America" when one of the characters calls
another one "a buttfucking quitter". I remember laughing way too hard at that and it's been in my
lexicon ever since.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The original 'Nightmare On Elm Street' will always have a special place in my heart.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
TRUE STORY: I was with a chick once, but had ran out of condoms. My excuse was "I didn't think
you'd be this easy".
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Barack Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Born To Die" by Lana Del Rey. I'm obsessed with her. Her voice is amazing. And she's the hottest
woman on the planet right now. The video for this song is epic.
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
(thumbs up emoji)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thank you so much for following me on Twitter!
(for more, follow Ryan Drake on Twitter!)
5. Victor Gischler
Guest #5 is a man of many talents. He writes comics (including X-Men, Deadpool, The Punisher), novels (such as Gun Monkeys, Shotgun Opera and Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse), screenplays and, as he says on his website, "funny books." He also, apparently, enjoys Disney every now and then. He is kind, hilarious, a really cool person and a really great man. He is Victor Gischler, and here is his edition of RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"It looked like somebody had puked a Los Lobos tribute band into the street." from THE DEPUTY
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Ha. I've never been very smooth with the ladies and as an old married man, I'm way out of practice.
I suppose something along the lines of "Please have pity on me."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Salt-n-Vinegar potato chips. That's not a sex thing. I just love them in every room.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Cocksucker.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
ALIEN. On the verge of sci-fi instead of horror, but that counts, right?
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Knock Knock. Who's There? Not enough words to be funny.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Secret. I don't do politics in public.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I do not know how to use emoticons. Let me try ... @( does that look like Cyclops frowning?
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I think I failed this interview.
(for more, follow Victor Gischler on Twitter!)
"It looked like somebody had puked a Los Lobos tribute band into the street." from THE DEPUTY
2. Favorite pick-up line?
Ha. I've never been very smooth with the ladies and as an old married man, I'm way out of practice.
I suppose something along the lines of "Please have pity on me."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Salt-n-Vinegar potato chips. That's not a sex thing. I just love them in every room.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Cocksucker.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
ALIEN. On the verge of sci-fi instead of horror, but that counts, right?
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Knock Knock. Who's There? Not enough words to be funny.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Secret. I don't do politics in public.
8. Favorite song right now?
"Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
I do not know how to use emoticons. Let me try ... @( does that look like Cyclops frowning?
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
I think I failed this interview.
(for more, follow Victor Gischler on Twitter!)
4. Steven Weber
What can be said about our fourth guest? So much, it goes beyond words, really. Steven Weber is brilliant, hysterical, a talented actor, outspoken, so very good-looking and utterly kind. Best known for Wings, Studio 60 and many other fantastic roles in many other great shows, Mr. Weber now participates in the ever-amusing and clever SadSad Conversations on YouTube with Josh Malina, Michael Ian Black, Phil LaMarr and numerous other amazing actors.
Without further ado, RAPIDFIRE!
Without further ado, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Hey! Stop that!"
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my feet!"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Soup.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Rat Bastard.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Sound of Music
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
How can you make a tree fall down? Axe it politely.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
Super Heavy
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
> <
^
####
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
"And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you fake."
(for more, follow Steven Weber on Twitter!)
"Hey! Stop that!"
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my feet!"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Soup.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Rat Bastard.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
The Sound of Music
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
How can you make a tree fall down? Axe it politely.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Obama
8. Favorite song right now?
Super Heavy
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
> <
^
####
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
"And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you fake."
(for more, follow Steven Weber on Twitter!)
3. Stephanie Fredricks
Our third guest is the beautiful, talented, incredibly kind and impressively funny actress, Stephanie Fredricks.
From her site, "Stephanie just concluded an 8-week run of the Celebration Theatre's World Premier Musical THE NEXT FAIRY TALE." She has received rave reviews for her roles in said production (which are available to read under the NEWS section of her site) and is an overall lovely person. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
From her site, "Stephanie just concluded an 8-week run of the Celebration Theatre's World Premier Musical THE NEXT FAIRY TALE." She has received rave reviews for her roles in said production (which are available to read under the NEWS section of her site) and is an overall lovely person. And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"You don't have a look. Get one." from MASTER CLASS by Terrence McNally
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hi." (works every time)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Steak
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Asspotato
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
"Psycho"
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Oedipus was the ORIGINAL mother fucker.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
President Obama. FAR better than the alternatives!
8. Favorite song right now?
"The Twelve Days AFTER Christmas" (you'll have to look up the lyrics)
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
"You don't have a look. Get one." from MASTER CLASS by Terrence McNally
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hi." (works every time)
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Steak
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Asspotato
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
"Psycho"
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Oedipus was the ORIGINAL mother fucker.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
President Obama. FAR better than the alternatives!
8. Favorite song right now?
"The Twelve Days AFTER Christmas" (you'll have to look up the lyrics)
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Sometimes there's just not enough wine.
(for more, follow Stephanie Fredricks on Twitter!)
Sometimes there's just not enough wine.
(for more, follow Stephanie Fredricks on Twitter!)
2. Steve Niles
Our second guest is horror writer extraordinaire, Steve Niles.
He has had huge success in the genre and in nearly every media one can think of: books, graphic novels, movies. From his website: "Best known for works such as 30 Days of Night, Criminal Macabre, Simon Dark, Mystery Society and Batman: Gotham County Line, he is credited among other contemporary writers as bringing horror comics back to prominence. " His most recent film, REMAINS, based on his own graphic novel, was released as a part of the "Chiller Presents" series in mid-December. And now, onto RAPIDFIRE!
He has had huge success in the genre and in nearly every media one can think of: books, graphic novels, movies. From his website: "Best known for works such as 30 Days of Night, Criminal Macabre, Simon Dark, Mystery Society and Batman: Gotham County Line, he is credited among other contemporary writers as bringing horror comics back to prominence. " His most recent film, REMAINS, based on his own graphic novel, was released as a part of the "Chiller Presents" series in mid-December. And now, onto RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Here's your royalty check."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hello."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Anything made with a crock pot.
4. Favorite swear word?
I'm old fashioned. I like "Fuck."
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
John Carpenter's The Thing
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Just watch any of the GOP debates.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Undecided.
8. Favorite song right now?
I got a Right -Stooges
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
o_O
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
(for more, follow Steve Niles on Twitter!)
"Here's your royalty check."
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Hello."
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Anything made with a crock pot.
4. Favorite swear word?
I'm old fashioned. I like "Fuck."
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
John Carpenter's The Thing
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Just watch any of the GOP debates.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
Undecided.
8. Favorite song right now?
I got a Right -Stooges
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
o_O
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
(for more, follow Steve Niles on Twitter!)
1. Mather Zickel
First up is an incredibly hilarious, brilliantly talented, unbelievably kind and painfully handsome actor named Mather Zickel. You may know him from I Love You, Man, Rachel Getting Married, Reno 911 or, more recently, the biggest mistake in cancellations since Arrested Development, ABC's Man Up. Before we get to his Rapidfire answers, however, he was kind enough to answer some regular ol' interviewy questions:
+How did you get started in acting?
I got started in acting when I was cast in the Farragut Middle School production of The Hobbit. I played a goblin. Actress/Talk Show Host Rikki Lake played a troll in the same production.
+Have you had any other jobs besides acting? What was your least favorite?
I've had many survival jobs along the way, all of them humbling. One of the worst was waiting at a kosher restaurant. I worked there for three days and they didn't pay me because I was training. On my third day, they told me to go outside and start flyering people on the street to drum up business. I threw all the flyers in the trash and went home.
+What creative work has impacted you the most?
Ooh, hard to list. Monty Python, Hal Ashby, Robert Cormier, George Orwell, Kenneth Branagh's Henry V, all of Pink Floyd's records, my father's collection of musical soundtracks, Taxi Driver, Albert Brooks' Modern Romance, Stephen Sondheim, After Hours, Paddy Chayefsky, Sidney Lumet, Herschel Gordon Lewis, Pieces.
+Which actor would you like to work with someday?
I'd love to work with Gary Oldman. That guy is a wizard.
+Have you ever been in a horror movie, or would you consider doing so (perhaps comedy-horror)?
The only horror movies I've ever been in are home movies I've made with friends. Standard mail butchery kind of stuff. I would absolutely do a horror movie. If it was scary. I'm a little leery of comedy horror. I generally don't like ironic send-ups of genre movies. I find them too obvious and, ultimately, neither very funny or very scary. Exceptions: the original Fright Night and Shaun of the Dead.
+Any advice for an actor/director/writer just starting out?
Advice? I think the best way to start out is just to find a way to do it. Try to discover your own voice and tastes. See how creative you can be with limited resources. Just practice. The best thing that will happen is that you will meet other people who you connect with, creatively. The people who actually make a go of it in the arts are the most committed and, generally, the most talented.
And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Have you ever seen the SPECTACLE of Human BUTCHERY, in PERSON!!!!"
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Oh my God! Did I hit you with my car?! I'm so sorry!"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Fondue.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Buttpuddle.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Pieces.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: How do you know E.T.’s British? A: Fookin’, looks Bri’-ish.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
The President, Barack Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
Summer ‘68
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:z (I need to take my medication)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Can it be less than ten?
(for more, follow Mather Zickel on Twitter!)
+How did you get started in acting?
I got started in acting when I was cast in the Farragut Middle School production of The Hobbit. I played a goblin. Actress/Talk Show Host Rikki Lake played a troll in the same production.
+Have you had any other jobs besides acting? What was your least favorite?
I've had many survival jobs along the way, all of them humbling. One of the worst was waiting at a kosher restaurant. I worked there for three days and they didn't pay me because I was training. On my third day, they told me to go outside and start flyering people on the street to drum up business. I threw all the flyers in the trash and went home.
+What creative work has impacted you the most?
Ooh, hard to list. Monty Python, Hal Ashby, Robert Cormier, George Orwell, Kenneth Branagh's Henry V, all of Pink Floyd's records, my father's collection of musical soundtracks, Taxi Driver, Albert Brooks' Modern Romance, Stephen Sondheim, After Hours, Paddy Chayefsky, Sidney Lumet, Herschel Gordon Lewis, Pieces.
+Which actor would you like to work with someday?
I'd love to work with Gary Oldman. That guy is a wizard.
+Have you ever been in a horror movie, or would you consider doing so (perhaps comedy-horror)?
The only horror movies I've ever been in are home movies I've made with friends. Standard mail butchery kind of stuff. I would absolutely do a horror movie. If it was scary. I'm a little leery of comedy horror. I generally don't like ironic send-ups of genre movies. I find them too obvious and, ultimately, neither very funny or very scary. Exceptions: the original Fright Night and Shaun of the Dead.
+Any advice for an actor/director/writer just starting out?
Advice? I think the best way to start out is just to find a way to do it. Try to discover your own voice and tastes. See how creative you can be with limited resources. Just practice. The best thing that will happen is that you will meet other people who you connect with, creatively. The people who actually make a go of it in the arts are the most committed and, generally, the most talented.
And now, RAPIDFIRE!
1. Favorite quote from anything you've acted in/written/whathaveyou?
"Have you ever seen the SPECTACLE of Human BUTCHERY, in PERSON!!!!"
2. Favorite pick-up line?
"Oh my God! Did I hit you with my car?! I'm so sorry!"
3. What's one unconventional food you'd like to see introduced into the bedroom?
Fondue.
4. Favorite swear word (you can make one up)?
Buttpuddle.
5. Favorite horror movie/book?
Pieces.
6. In 25 words or less, tell me a hilarious joke/short story/whathaveyou:
Q: How do you know E.T.’s British? A: Fookin’, looks Bri’-ish.
7. Who are you voting for (write-ins accepted)?
The President, Barack Obama.
8. Favorite song right now?
Summer ‘68
9. Using only emoticons, show me how you're feeling right this second.
:z (I need to take my medication)
10. Final thoughts in ten words or less?
Can it be less than ten?
(for more, follow Mather Zickel on Twitter!)